I just want him back. How long does this desperate wanting go on?

Arthurd, I do so understand about the jewellery.    It is not too late to wear a wedding ring and have memories. I have problems wearing rings, from nerve damage years ago. My original wedding ring became uncomfortable, and my beloved agreed with me, and I went and ordered another, thinner ring, and I wore that one just as happily as I had the original. A cousin lost three wedding rings, as her fingers changed size, and slipped off. So you can have  a wedding ring made which is thin enough, light enough, even as thin as a curtain ring, and therefore possibly more comfortable to wear, and feel your wife close to you, and all your precious memories. You might even try a real curtain ring, it is what it will symbolise to you that matters. I have a very thin sliver ring on my other hand, which I also wear every day now, which has a meaning for me, connecting me to my beloved husband, and it is as thin as a curtain ring ! I found a silver-smith on Etsy, from Bulgaria, who made it for less than ten pounds, and it is worth so much to me in what it means....I do hope that this helps you.......,  Happy5

Thank you, will think on these ideas, Linda only ever took her wedding ring off when having certain scans done and I had to make sure it went on the same way round, and always had to kiss it on her finger to ‘ seal it ‘ There is so much to comprehend that it sometimes seems an impossible task. Everywhere I look I see memories of her, everything I do reminds me of her, everything I say I expect a reply. I am just so lost without my Linda, she truly was my everything. There was nothing we didn’t share. Please take care and know that we are all here for each other 

Keith,

There are several options you could consider regarding the jewellery.. you could consider having all the rings melted and made into one or made into a pendant on a chain if a ring isn't possible.

I stopped wearing my rings: before my husband got sick as I was having problems with my fingers. I now have some of his ashes made into a memorial split ring.. this allows for when/if my fingers swell and getting it over the knuckles.  

I'm still considering my own options as to what to do with  our wedding rings.

Yes, we are all here for each other. I do so understand where you are, in your grief. I send you  all my support and sympathy for these days and weeks ahead. It does get easier, month by month - I can't say day by day, that is not true. But everyone says that time does help, even though you can't feel that at the moment. ............

I forgot to say, for any others reading this post,  about a ring, that I only ordered on-line because of Lockdown, and it is much better to go to a shop and try on different rings and find your own ring-size, and a width which is comfortable for you.  It's not so easy doing that long-distance on-line ! This is just in case the idea is good for any other reader.   I personally take my wedding ring off every night, as I was told by a good jeweller that if you do not, you can get arthritis in that finger. I always wanted a heavy wide ring, but I could never actually wear a wide one, so I ended up with a narrow and thin one! My dearest husband didn't want to wear a ring when we married, but he changed about ten years ago, and he bought himself an imitaiton gold one in a street market, and wore that very happily - I smile as I remember ...it must be a good day for me, today, as I am smiling instead of crying at the thought...love to everyone who reads this,  Happy5

Hello, I am comfortable leaving them in Linda’s jewellery cabinet, I know where they are and they are safe, plus that’s where she kept them, maybe in the future may think differently but for now I a comfortable thank you 

Arthurd, Just read Pooka and your reply. I know that I do not want to change anything. There is great comfort in keeping things as they are, this is my feeling. I also read that it is not a good idea to make any big changes in the first months or year or even more after our losses. I agree with this. We are all different...I have kept my beloved's ring on the shelf just where it was, next to his watch. They are both contented there, and I can see them.   Do forgive me, Pooka, I agree with and support Arthurd.  The split ring, Pooka, sounds a very good idea. Oh how close to our hearts these things are.  xx  Happy5

So so important not to make any changes unless 100% necessary, can’t easily undo them, all I threw out were Linda’s medications, didn’t consider these personal, but the medicine chart I made for her which was quite complicated, sits quite happily stuck to the back of a kitchen cupboard door, reminds me of her every time I get my meds out, what’s the phrase ‘ coping strategy’ guess that’s very true we all have our own, but many overlap, I have kept the empty Capri sun pouch, as I know she used it and can’t bear to part with it. I am still using her tea caddy, we had our own, but I feel closer to her using hers, silly little things that keep us sane…..sending you all my love 

Hi Keith

Hope you are as good as you can be, I , like you have only removed my husbands medication ( I handed them all back to our local chemist in the first few days following his passing. The reason I did this was they represented pain and that is not what or how I think of him! 
it is coming up four years in September for my husband but as yet I have not and definitely do not want to move or get rid of anything of his , his wallet is exactly where he left it as are all his personal things , I have all his clothes , shoes and all of his things just as they have always been. They are still hanging or folded simply as they have always been. For some this may not work or feel/ be appropriate but all I can say is for me it most definitely is , I need the familiarity of all that is his around me, I sleep every night snuggling one of his fleece jackets, I desperately need to feel him close! 
His last Jacket  he wore is still hanging on the outside of a wardrobe door where he left it. I still write his name with mine on cards to family and friends, for some this may strange but for me it is the only way I know as we have always been together as one! 
I speak to my husband constantly and I know he is still here with me , only not in the physical sense , our love has no boundaries, I take solace that one day I will see him and be back with him again , I often smile as I think he must be having an amazing time to balance the pain that I am feeling in his loss and if that is true I am thankful and glad. We shared 38 fantastic years I wish with all my heart we were still physically entwined but honestly we are so in all other ways. 
I wish you calmness and a sense of peace as you travel along this path that none of us on here want to be on , but sadly we are. I know though with all my heart this different path I am now having to be on will at some point reunite wholly with my husband, my love , my life. 
Take care, one step at a time xx

Thank you

Its early days for me, but I do hope I may one day be strong and able enough to do some basic tidying ( I know that’s the wrong word ) of my Linda’s clothes etc. Presently I just physically and mentally can’t do that, I would feel it a betrayal ,of the love I feel for my Wife, but part of me believes I should move forward at some stage. There is no time period that is correct, there can’t be, it has to be when the time is right for the partner left behind. We are all have different ways of coping, there is no Right Way. I am 68 but don’t feel that old, neither of us felt our age,  we were 18 at heart.

wrote the end of this out twice then deleted it, just couldn’t find a way to write it without being disrespectful to my Linda, but she told me she didn’t want me to be alone, and as much as I love her and  always will, I don’t function well alone. Soon be 70, sounds scary.

keep safe and well

All my wife’s clothes and possessions are still around me.  I told my adult children there staying put until I die.  Lynn has lots of colourful tops she wore, I take one out of her wardrobe hang it in my bedroom feels like she’s still here.  Then put it back then take another one out on weekly rotation.