I titled this "Serious with a side of ridiculous" because there were elements of both in my task today.
Today I transferred the remaining half of Chris' ashes into a beautiful urn that was created for me by an artist friend. Before Chris died, we decided that half of his ashes would be scattered in his native Sussex and the other half would stay with me until I died. Then half my ashes would join his in Sussex and the remaining halves would be scattered here in Scotland. It was weird. Because they are so incredibly dusty, I couldn't "pour" them into the urn. Let's just say I will never look at my ¼ cup measuring cup again in the same way. Before I moved the ashes into the urn, I took some to place inside a memorial locket - one of those sterling silver charms into which you can funnel ashes. I chose a lovely filigree heart. It took quite a while to get the ashes in there, as they are fairly heavy and they are not of uniform ash-like consistency. But I got some into the the heart and can wear it tomorrow after giving the plug 24 hours for the glue to set.
What I don't understand is the volume of ashes. Chris was not a large person, neither tall nor, particularly in his last year, very heavy. I know with both my parents, their ashes fit comfortably in a box that was about 3 inches wide by 3 inches deep by 5 inches tall. My father was much larger than Chris, so the fact that Chris' ashes filled a huge container really puzzles me. I wonder if, in the States (where I'm from originally), the crematoria only give a symbolic, manageable amount of ashes rather than all the ashes after cremation? The ashes were not of consistent size or appearance and there were a couple of items in the ashes that must have come from dental work. I just kept repeating to myself, these are Chris' earthly remains, these ashes are not Chris, they are not Chris, they are not Chris. And I succeeded in doing the task, accompanied by the music of one of his favourite albums, without a tear. But damn that grief ninja, it hit about an hour later.
There are still some ashes in the container from the crematorium; the urn wasn't quite big enough. I will find a place around here that we both loved and scatter them there. Perhaps I will take them to Skye or take them to Glencoe. But they will not sit in the ugly plastic urn any longer. I should have done this long ago, but I didn't have the emotional strength. I was proud of achieving what I did today.
Martha, I had some of my husband's ashes put into a ring and a matching pendant necklace from a company called Ever With. I also had a beautiful glass paperweight ornament made from another company just incase I ever lose the jewellery.
The rest of the ashes remain in a large ashes tube and stay at the side of my bed. ..they are heavy to lift.
We all refer to them as ashes but in reality they are the remains and therefore are dense and quite substantial.
But, our memories and love are what really remains of our loved ones... and no matter where we are we can always hold them close in our heart 
