Coping with the aftermath

I lost my husband ten weeks ago steveo and I still can't look at photos of him, I'm heartbroken and lost , I cry all the time and I am being told that talking about him in the present sense is wrong , , I have walked away from ppl who don't have any understanding of how I feel , big hug 

Hi.

I lost Stephen 3 and a half weeks ago. I am haunted by some of the images like you. Sometimes they just drift into my thoughts and I’ve dreamed about major bleeds which upset me. I think it’s a way our brains process the shock ... and horror. I’ve been trying to replace these images with all the pictures of happy and healthy times. It’s worked for some times. I’ve found this comforting as well as listening to his voice, his favourite songs and wearing his shirts or dressing gown. It feels like a bit of him is still with me and I always think about what he would say if I got upset. He wouldn’t want this for me. Your wife wouldn’t want you to have those painful images. I got rid of any items associated with his illness - anything medical immediately. 
There’s no right or wrong thing to do - just whatever eases the feelings. I couldn’t talk about this with family because it upsets them. All I hold onto is the love we shared and how he made me feel he said I gave him butterflies and he made my heart flutter. I just try to remember the love and we were all lucky to have that. People on this site do understand and I’m finding that helps. Big virtual hug - you’re not alone x

in the last 10 days my wife got very confused.nobody told me what caused this but those memories are with me.

My husband Peter had stage 4 brain cancer and he suffered with confusion and he lost the ability to speak in the final week , I still have flashbacks of that , I totally understand it's very painful , I'm still hurting so much , I feel I failed him 

My amazing husband passed away over a year ago i nursed him at home covid restrictions meant if he went to the hospice it was an hour a day visit which i definitely could not have coped with in a strange way i look back now and cherish that horrible time and take strength and comfort that i was able to do it and amazed that i coped with it all.

I hope in time you will too we are all our own heroes for our loved ones miss him every minute of every day x

Hi Kikko 

what you say is so true. I know all of us would have done anything to support our partners however tough. We should remember that as it’s a positive- the deepest love we can show x

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That is so true. I wanted to be there. I wanted to do the utmost. I just rue that he had to suffer ️

1. I deeply feel hurt by the disrespectful way his family were towards me whilst he was in hospital and on the day of his funeral, Peter was and always will be the love of my life, I feel ashamed that I couldn't do more for him 

You should never feel this it was taken out of your hands our husbands partners wives would never wish that for us im just angry with the world  cos bryan isn't here xx