My husband was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer in the middle of February, some had gone to his spine and some in the bone in his leg, he had had some radiotherapy which got rid of the pain in his back, he was seeing oncologist to see about immunotherapy, he got quite weak so I was looking after him at home, he could still get up and walk and go to the loo as long as I helped him out of bed. The last Sunday he had gone down rapidly and was admiitted to hospital and yesterday morning he died. We knew he was going to die but thought he had a bit longer, so very much a shock. I know its still very early days and all my family are saying how strong I'm being but when they are not around I cry most of the time, I know over time this will reduce but at the moment it doesn't feel like it. I have my 91 year old mother who lives next door, who gets up set when she see's me crying (i have only seen her cry once and that was at my fathers funeral) she has cried quite a few times since my husband has diagnosed and said she is old it should have been her but I did explain to her that other people of all ages get cancer, (we have had family memebers that have died of cancer).
I just feel lost without him we were married for 35 years and spent 24/7 together since i reitired nearly 5 years ago, and it is my 60th birthday on Wednesday and its going to hit me hard again then.
Any help with how to cope with this grief
Happy birthday by the way 
I hope it’s not been too bad a day for you. I’ve got mine next month and I’m dreading it.
I’m so glad your husband was able to tell you how he felt whilst he was able to. My Gary was the same - every day for the last couple of months of his life he told me how much he loved me and that I was never to forget it. Small things like that make the bad times a wee bit better. I know how lucky we both were to have found each other.
It’s so hard isn’t it but things will get better. One day at a time,
Peigi xx
