My Wife

Hi Steveho,

Please know that what you are feeling is all normal, particulalry in the early days.

When I lost my husband (tomorrow it will be three years), I wen over all the things that had been done or had been said for weeks in my head, tormenting myself with them, and it didn't help me at all that so many people were saying to me, "You did all you could! And, also, it is done and you can't change it!" I guess these feelings are just a thing that we do as we are going through grief: feeling guilty and blaming ourselves. At least many of us are doing that.

The feeling that she will walk through the door any moment is very normal too because and especially when everything has happened so quickly. You didn't have time to adjust to the new situation while she was still alive and now you have to experience life without her and of course it is so hard to believe and that you just can't, you see her walking through the door, hear her voice, etc.

It'll all take time.

Lots of love

Mel

Thankyou Mel.

your reply is very comforting.

Yes i probably am tormenting myself and yes everybody is saying i did everything i could.

I am tending to think more of the bad things that happened in the final days.

She got so confused and i just wish i could have done more.There i go again.x