My Wife

Dear Steveho,

So sorry that you have had to join this group, though you will be made very welcome by the lovely people here.   We have all lost our partners our soulmates and love of our lives, nothing can fill that void.

My dear wife Lynn died 15 months ago from uterus cancer that spread to both her lungs, it was an honour caring for her I miss dreadfully every day.

Everyone here knows your pain.   I have found this forum incredibly supportive, you are not alone.

Please post whenever, someone will be here to help.

Peter 

Hi Steveho

Sorry you have had to join this group, but you will get a lot of support when and if needed.

Its real  early days for you and you will be in a daze,

Every one is so different in how they may deal with the situation, i just kept busy busy busy, but it caught up with me, and after Christmas i asked for counselling which has helped me a great deal, but this is not for every one.

There are loads of different emotions that seem to come from no where and each day can be different, all i can say is one day at a time, it is not easy and takes time, no one really knows what it is like to loss the other half of themselves, i was lost and did not know who i was with out him. and find out who i am on my own, i do not like it one little bit

It has taken me 18months to try and adjust , every one has a different aspect on the way they cope, we have to do it our way and when we want to, Even my grown up children did not understand, it was their dad, different from Husband or Wife.

Please use this group i would not have got this far with out it, I gained strength when needed, and always here to listen support.

Take Care Ellie 

Hello Steveho 

All of us on here, the readers and the writers all understand how you are feeling and know how difficult it is dealing with the 'things' that only you can deal with, it is very upsetting but the bereavement teams at the various places you will speak to are usually so compassionate and patient. Just deal with them one by one and make notes along the way. 

You need to eat to keep your body and mind going, to give you the energy each day to keep up the strength needed at this awful time. Is there a friend or relative who can support you a bit? I don't do 'quiet' I always have the radio on and if a song makes me cry, I cry!! I talk to Colin as if he's still here, it helps me, sometimes I ask him to something about the p!$$ing weather we've been having - just incase he has a directline to the rainmaker up there!! 

You will get through this (not over this) because through it is the only way and you will see just how strong you can be.

Take lots of deep breaths and take care of yourself 

Hi Steveho,

Just wanted to say hi and welcome.

It's CRAP, the hardest thing I have ever been through, I am 16 weeks in and feel like I am back to square one.

But I am alive, I get up each morning and do what I have to, but are utterly and truly SAD.

I have no advice apart from take each minute, hour, day at a time, do what you have to do get through, be kind to yourself.

You are not alone.

Take care

Donna

Hi Steveho

everyone has already given you some good advice and it does help to know that others know how you are feeling, you are not on your own. 
It really is the hardest thing you will ever go through, but you will get through. 
Keep posting it does help. 

Hi steveho

i am sorry you had to join this group 

this is a supportive group that understand 

Hello Steveho,

So sorry to read your sad news. It is such early days for you, and you can be sure that people on here really get how you’re feeling. In the last months the kind words and just reading the thoughts of others who are experiencing this huge, devastating loss has provided me with such comfort- if only to reassure me that I’m not going mad, that it’s okay to feel like this. 
Keep coming back to this site and read as many threads as you feel are relevant or you can cope with. Don’t worry if you don’t feel like responding. I think just sharing by reading is sometimes enough.

Take care, do things at a pace that suits you, sometimes that will be slow and others less so. Try hard to be kind to yourself. Take each day hour by you if that’s what you need to do. 
Sending hugs

Jane

xx

Thankyou everybody for your kind words and thoughts.

I keep wishing i had done more or said more but we were always positive looking forward so whats happened wasnt even  in our thinking.My wife went from watching tv,knitting to bed ridden and very confused in less than 3 weeks.

I just keep thinking she will walk through the door.

Hello Steveho,

I am so very sorry for your loss and so glad you have found this group here where we all understand because we have gone through the experience of losing our partner to this horrible disease. Please keep writing here as for most people it is really good to write and share and sometimes also to just read what other members are saying. Please be kind to yourself. It is important to try and eat, even though you may not be hungry, and important too to get sleep or at least rest as much as you can - grief is difficult on our whole system and takes a lot of energy!

Lots of love

Mel