Lost

Hi kikko

Big hugs xx I have found this a great space to express how I feel in a way I can’t in the really world it’s a very supportive space where we all understand xx 

sarah x

So sorryto hear about your husband my husband was 58 they were both so young i cant wait until we call meet up its great havibg this forum to chat xx

So sorry for you loss my heart goes out to you

I lost love of my life last week to lymphoma so quick and sudden

One minute talking about what we want to do later in life next I am sorting out the crematorium 

Heartbroken lost lonely scared empty feeling inside want my Dean back people do not understand your grief unless they have gone through it

I feel your pain no one can describe it  you feel as if your heart has been ripped out days just melt into obe day after another and lockdown doesn't help im so glad i found this group and i hope we can all help each other 

One minute we planned early retirement travel and a whole life of plans gone in a moment i was with mt husband from i was 17 now 58 i get angry and feel so annoyed with others who still have their partners and don't appreciate what they have xx

Sorry for your loss. You will not feel it for a long wellbut it does get better.

Love and hugs Alison xxx

Hi kikko

Thankyou for your lovely words of comfort

I cry everytime a read a post because I know it comes from the heart.it has only been since the the 12th of this month I lost Dean but people already asking have you done this that and the other this is not helping me at all

Items from him being self employed will have to wait I can't bear to sell the stuff yet do they think they are helping me because I feel pushed and happy to stick my head in the sand for an hour or two just for some peace

Any guidance on this 

Rowane x

Hi Rowane,

Welcome, I rushed into doing everything, the last conversation I had with Rob on 19th Jan, half an hour before he died was he said "I won't get my tax return done". The reason he didn't get it done s he started to be ill June, diagnosed with Sarcoma July, Aug into hospital 12 weeks, home 11 weeks end of life care. Bloody tax return, another one to do now

What I meant to say was things can wait, I did a couple of things each day that was only as much as I could cope with.

The "doing" was the easiest part for me, while I was doing I didn't need to do the thinking. I am now 13 weeks 4 days and struggling. 

I still take one day at a time, keep on top of paper work if not I don't sleep. People think I am doing amazing, if only they knew.

Sorry no advice or guidance there.

Take care

Donna

Hello Rowanne, 

I would agree with what others have said about tackling the list of things that need doing. Back in October when I lost Chris, I started off in a fit of feeling I should be organised (after all, everyone including me, thought I was an organiser) I had a complete meltdown after repeating the same grim information for what seemed the 100th time in the space of a few hours. I decided that I would tackle maybe one or two things each day. If it took longer, that didn’t matter but my sanity and ability to get through each day did. The service Tell us Once dealt with many of the things that were urgent which helped. 
Yes, once the official stuff is dealt with it does leave a void and as yet I can’t honestly say that it’s got any smaller in the last six months. But mostly, I feel I’m controlling my emotional outbursts more- generally they hit me about now, last thing at night as I come to bed. 
But most of all, I’d say be kind to yourself, do things at a pace that is right for you. It is early days for you so getting out of bed, dressed and fed is probably a huge achievement. 
Take care and sending hugs

Jane

xx

Yes you will find your own pace dont do it because people think its right. 

Sitting in the sunshine today mafe me realise how hard and lonely it is i can't wait to see if we can all meet up for a very big hug 

Hi all that have replied to me thankyou so much it realy helps .One of my bad nights was saturday had lovely day seeing the grandchildren when our grandson said to me he misses Dean and  did I miss Dean  had to summon all my strength and not cry.On the night just before bed I sobbed uncontrollably for what seemed hours I am still feeling today from it

Lost and lonely Rowane x