The way that I handled the day was exactly as Jane has said in her comment and this really is sound advice.
“This is the last thing I would do for someone who had been the centre of my world and whom I loved completely for over 46 years. I did hold on to that thought, it helped a little, although I confess to quiet crying throughout most of it.”
I also loved my wife completely but for nearly 40 years and I also cried quietly throughout most of it too.
But remember theres no right or wrong way of dealing with this very sad day, its what you feel is right and its a bit like grieving theres no right or wrong way theres only your way and thats how you handle the day of the funeral.
I also held on to one word in my head at all times and that was the word ‘Dignity’ as my wife remained dignified throughout her whole illness and even more so during her passing and I thought to myself, in honour of the dignity she shown throughout, I need to remain as dignified as I possibly can, and hopefully thats what I did in front of those people who attended the funeral or watched it via a weblink but especially in front of my two children as you have to be strong for their sake.
I had sleepless nights thinking about the day of the funeral as we also had a family feud to contend with, which was dreadful to be honest.
But all you have to do on the day, is to do your best and thats all your dear wife would expect of you regardless of whether you, scream, shout, or cry uncontrollably, JUST DO YOUR BEST x
Like Jane said; I would say its one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to deal with. But it will only last for one day and you just remember to “put your Game face on’ in honour of your wife’s memory.
So sorry for your my husband too passed away on the 12th April
Very quick not enough time to process or understand why my Dean lefted me.fit as a fiddle planning trips in next couple of years things for the future
Life is so cruel but I know being on the forum has started helping me slowly express feelings and open up because at the moment this is the only place I can let it all out
Happy that the funeral for valerie was beautiful She is smiling down on you always.
My dear Dean's was yesterday too
Today I feel like there is a aura around me which I find comforting and I have some beautiful pictures that are now framed so I can look at them each and every day and smile very fond memories
You will feel emptiness as she was and always will be the love of your life and you’ll also feel sadness and grief like nothing you’ve felt before, and every other emotion for that matter will be going around your head and thats all normal.
So my advice to you would be the same advice a friend of mine on this forum said to me once “just be kind to yourself” and take one day at a time, and take each day hour by hour and even minute by minute as this loss is simply unbearable at the moment for you, but you also need to know that myself and so many other kind souls on this forum really do understand what you’re feeling as we are feeling exactly the same as yourself.
You don’t have to reply or say anything back to me.
All I’d ask from you is that one day when you’re feeling a tiny bit stronger than you are at this present moment in time and someone comes on this forum and needs a little help just like you do at the moment, just spare them a few kind words to help them get through their very saddest moments.
Sorry I missed your comment regarding your husbands funeral yesterday or I would have replied to you as well.
I’m so sorry for your loss and I know Dean will be looking down on you from heaven and helping you get through these very difficult times, I know thats how I feel with my soulmate and thats one of the comforting thoughts that gets me through these days.
Like you, I still cry ever single day, and some days I just can’t stop crying, and just like you I miss everything about my soulmate from her face to not being able to talk to her anymore, it’s incredibly difficult but crying is so important for us all, so keep on doing it, I definitely think it helps us with our grief.
