Love of my Life

Dear Larry123

i am so sorry that your darling wife Valerie has passed away.

As you say no loss can compare, it is truly heartbreaking. 
You will find people here that understand.

Keep posting xx

Thank you Sausagedog1.

Pain is unbearable sometimes, can't close my eyes without seeing her last moments.

First thing I did was to return the Morphine to chemist.

Does Red Wine help... God Yes.

Our Future has been taken from us.

Family supportive? Yes.

Does it help? No.

Funeral.

Music.

Paper work.

Return/Sell/Give away equipment.

Hide Photos.

Go for a walk and watch couples holding hands.

Get a Dog?

Hello  Larry 123,

Im so sorry you have lost the love of your life, and yes its unbearable,  i can empathise totally,  i lost my lovely husband last August 2020 to say I'm  broken is an understatement,  i dont know if time will help i still can only take one day at a time, i have found this group helpful as we have all been through similar experiences,  i hope you  to will find it helps and  i hope in time you find peace  take care .

Dear Larry, I am so sorry to hear your sad news, I lost my lovely Julia 8 weeks ago from ovarian cancer and it has left a vast hole in my life. We were married for 59 years and now I feel so alone even though I have my wonderful daughter living with me. The only thing at the moment is to keep listing jobs to do in the garden and the house which keeps my mind off the pain for a short while. Today was the funeral of the Duke which was so moving and emotional for me and so many more particularly as both Julia and I met him twice at Cowes Week on the Guard ship and at a couple of Club receptions, it brought back so many memories, but that in the end is how it should be. Be strong, don’t hide photos, just say hello lovely and remember the good times. 
Colin

Hello Larry

I’m so sorry for your loss. You’re so right, nothing compares with losing your other half, nothing prepares you for the aching loss and ever present gap. But by coming to this site, you will find people who understand, who can offer wise words and won’t judge. So please keep coming back, don’t feel that you always need to respond. Sometimes just reading through the thoughts that others are kind enough to share will bring some sort of comfort.

It will be six months on Monday since I lost my wonderful Chris and I’ve reached the point where, most days, I can take each day as it come- some less bad than others. On the bad days, I just take each hour as it turns up. 

With regard to that awful list of things to do, surely the worst to do list ever, I found it easier to limit myself to one or two jobs each day. It was a much kinder way of doing things and sort of helped. In the early days, I had a complete meltdown when I found myself repeating for the third or fourth time the same grim details, so decided to pace myself. Try hard to be kind to yourself, take things at a pace that works for you.

Sending hugs and strength 

Jane

So sorry for your loss Larry123

It always seems hard welcoming someone to this site, none of us want to be here as it means we have lost our beloved partner.

Nothing we say can ease the sheer helplessness you are experiencing at the moment but the advice of "One day, one hour, one minute at a time is the best way to cope". Try not to pressure yourself ...just work your way through the various tasks when you feel ready. Don't beat yourself up about getting things done, keep funeral arrangements as simple or as complicated as YOU wish. 

Within hours I too had made the trip to the chemist to return enough morphine and other strong drugs to keep the world on a permanent high! Why does the hospital insist on giving more dangerous strong drugs even when you tell them you already have 6 bottles at home!  I think I subconsciously wanted it out the house for fear of being tempted in my initial grief.

Even though I am just a few months into it all I have had to make drastic life changes involving emptying and in process of selling our home, disposing of everything and moving miles away... so many changes in such a short time scale.

 I have come to the conclusion that Mark is within me no matter where I live. . in my heart and in my memories. I have his tube of ashes but I am still undecided  what I intend doing with them  after lockdown, I also have some memorial ash jewellery that I wear constantly and a glass ornament made with small amounts of his ash.

Our home may be gone, his clothes donated to charity, but even if I was still surrounded by them, it wouldn't change anything. 

I'd like to say it all gets easier emotionally... but it hasn't yet. The pain is awful, I miss him dearly, he was too young to go.  But we are all fighters on here and for the love and memory of our loved ones we will stay strong and learn to live without our beloved partners by our side. 

Keep strong..

Larry123,

So sorry for your loss. You’re comments ring true with my story too, except I already have a dog which i would definitely recommend as he just understands me and try’s to picks me up when I’m down which is very frequent of late.

I also had to drop off the wine, as it made me feel so low the morning after, I tried this approach but it just makes me feel worse but thats a personal thing and if it’s working for you just do it  

This bit your going through at the moment is particularly difficult and theres no short cuts sadly. But by knowing we all have to go through this awful stage helped me and although we can’t physically put our arms around you and reassure you that you’ll get through it, having a virtual arm around you may just help you a little bit. So I send you a virtual hug and I hope that things go as well as they possibly can do under these very difficult times.

I do hope we all find peace one day, Ian x

Funeral 29/04/2021 almost all sorted. Dreading it to be honest. I must hold it together.

https://funeral-notices.co.uk/notice/tabatabai/4939694

How do you carry on?

Realised Valerie is my only friend.

I love you Val.

Hello Larry

Someone close to me said that I should try and think of the funeral as the last thing I would do for someone who had been the centre of my world and whom I loved completely for over 46 years. I did hold on to that thought, it helped a little, although I confess to quiet crying throughout most of it. 
It might help you get through what is, without doubt, one of the hardest things you’ve ever done. Apologies if it doesn’t help.
Sending hugs and strength 

Jane

xx

So sorry Larry for your recent loss of your wife Valerie, I lost my partner after 13 wonderful years in December, not long as many of you but still very painful.  I do not have any family and the thing that has helped me most is walking, permitted during the lock down.  I am lucky that I have green spaces where I can walk, I've been tempted to get a dog.