Struggling

It is nearly 17 months and I decided that I don't want to let go of my partner's things.  I managed to box some of them up, and that was traumatic enough.  Possibly I'll put it all into storage so it is safe.  I may never let them go; we'll see.  I know it sounds crazy but before I packed things away I took photographs so I'd remember how it used to be.  Some things are still where he left them around the house, and I still can't face the job of photographing and moving them.  I know it is futile to try to hold back time, but I know from experience that if I move them before I'm ready then the grief is overwhelming. 

Omg. Just joined after nearly a year of losing my husband an have immediately related to this ‍

I think what you have done Re photographs is a great idea you can look whenever you feel able to, I boxed and sorted everything so early as it upset me so much to see Nicks things around, it was painful but I also think I was a bit numb,

Leighx

Hello Dunlin, and all,

I lost my husband of 47 years last August and all hes  things are still exactly where  he left them, his shirts are hanging in his wardrobe,  his bathroom shelf has all his stuff aftershave,  deodorant, etc.  I can't  face moving anything as yet, like you I may never be able to, it sound silly but I find it comforting seeing his stuff, I know we can't hold back time as you say, grieving is very personal isn't and different for us all, its what's right for each of us . Hopefully in time we will all find peace  in our painful situation we are in. Take care.

Hello Bluebell

Like you I’ve moved very little of Chris’ things. I did put away his two special mugs, but I keep going to the cupboard and looking at them. At the weekend I moved his colouring books off the coffee table into the basket where I keep mine. I sobbed while I was doing it so I know I’m definitely not ready to move anything else yet. 

Today marks 27 weeks since I lost him, we’d been together since 1974. And you’re so right, our grieving journey is so very different. But I think it’s important that we are strong enough to do what feel# right for us, when it feels right and not be pushed into doing things because of others.

Take care, sending hugs

Jane

xx

Hi Kenickiesmum and all,

I couldn’t bear bagging anything of Lynn’s, donating or selling it everything is staying with me. Let me say after her passing having Lynn’s name removed from bill’s, insurance policies etc was awful like I was erasing her in some way.  It sounds silly because we have to change a lot of paperwork which we all have had to do on this forum as painful as it is.    However, regarding Lynn’s clothes and personal items I want to keep them forever as it feels like she’s still here.   I can touch, smell her things it’s all I’ve got left.  Nothing is logical nothing makes sense hoarding her stuff but it helps me giving me comfort.   

Peter xx

Hello Peter

There’s nothing logical or that makes sense in this position that we’re all in. So I agree, do whatever you find comfort in.

Sending hugs

Jane

xx