I Had a Thought Today

Thank you, MP xx

I cry all the time, but don't go out. Thank goodness for visiting restrictions.

I am having a problem not showing my grief, I don't want to let others see it.  

It's MINE!!!

To be fair to all of you lovely people on this site, I fear I would not be liked much if you came face to face with me. I am not nice - please don't respond to that, I am not fishing, just stating a likely fact.

Your heart is sound, but I am trying to go for the "I am a rock, I am an island. And a rock feels no pain. And an island never cries."

I am hoping for a return to the person I was before I met him. The doors he opened for me are slowly closing. I will be alright.

Sue xx

XXX

Oh Sue! I so hear you!

Me: How very dare the World not recognise and make space for my grief?!
The World: How are you?
Me: Fine.

This forum really is a godsend, no need to put on a brave face, no need to censor yourself in case it makes other people uncomfortable. Hallelujah!

You're right, we're in one-sided relationships. When you've found your 'lobster' (I've probably just given my age away with that reference) how do you live your everyday life without them? And yet we do. It's quite astounding.

Personally I think it's ok to cry for the moon, I still do, often, though not everyday the way I did for the first 18 months. We're already full of love that doesn't have that place to flow to that it once did, if we bottle up our tears as well we might actually explode.

Yaaaay for gardens and for rain - I'm in central Scotland, and anticipating some pretty big, soggy gardening jobs over the next few months too. Enjoy, Sue, it really is fabulous therapy eh?

Sending love, Eryn.

Hey Eryn

Dave bought me a jumper once with “you’re my lobster” on it. ️

I was. I still am. I always will be! 

xx

I love it!

We’ll always be lobsters to our lobsters, nothing can take that away .

xx

Thanks Eryn x Phoebe was our favourite character #

Yup, a bad day for some reason. 

I didn't get into the garden for long - long enough though. Now I am tanking into the red wine and cooking - one of my art forms. Then I may splash a bit of paint about a canvas, though I am not really motivated much nowadays - it was better when we were both painting, or in Andy's case, sculpting or carving or printing or casting or things he did without a name to them - he really was so much more talented than me. It does make me feel as if I am continuing, though.

Never onwards, dear folk, I am definitely going sideways.and down, but that's how roots go, isn't it?

Love Sue xx

A pink Pineapple, then !

xx

Red wine, cooking and splashing paint on canvas sounds great! ...though I can’t draw or paint or anything of that nature!! My niece is studying Art history at Uni she’s so talented. 
What do you paint Sue? I’d love to see... 

xx

I paint whatever comes to mind - mostly abstracts, or impressions. I can make a decent fist of landscapes and life, but I like to put paint or inks on paper and then see what it turns into.  A bit grim at the moment!

i quite like "drippy" paintings and I will start using colour again soon...x

That’s fabulous! There’s something so ethereal about it! 

What a talented couple, you and your Andy. It’s awesome that you’re getting stuff out on canvas. 

Clinking glasses over the distance - red wine in glass, music on speaker and chilli on the stove.

xx