Seriously how much tears...

Oh bless you wee Pineapple  

Alcohol does have a depressive effect the day after but as you say, you need that blow out from time to time. I intend to crack open a bottle this evening but I know what the trade off will be tomorrow

It’s sh*te, it really is and there’s only 1 person that can make it go away. I can’t say anything to make it better but remember that you are at the really early days of all this (listen to me, I’ve been bereaved all of 12 weeks and think I know it all....) and you need to just give it time. I talk to Gary constantly, anyone listening would think I’m off my head but I hear his voice in my mind answering back when I look for it and he guides me and reassures me that I’m doing ok. I think that’s because we were so in tune we knew what the other would say when asked anything. 

Cry all you need to, it’s good to get it out and speak to someone if you think that might help ie a friend or even one of the Helplines. The people there are trained counsellors and know what to say and how best to advise. 

And chocolate - you don’t get a hangover with it and it always makes you feel better

Huge hug,

Peigi xx 

Thanks Peigi

I know today has big meaning for you, enjoy your drink with your friend xxx

Oh MyPineapple, it really is c***p isn’t it? I’m sure we’ve all had days like this and not always able to blame a hangover either. As I’ve said on several of my posts before, it will be 22weeks on Monday since I lost Chris. And I cry at least once every day- which makes it sound like a habit, but what I find is that every day at some point something will happen that makes me realise how very much I’m missing him, how much I’ve lost. I know he would be exasperated by my tears but the pain is just so huge at times it overwhelms me. Like Peigi has said, tears are okay and I’ve certainly decided that it does me more good to weep than to keep all my sadness inside. 
I’m not sure any of this will help but one thing I’m good at is rambling on, sorry

Hugs

Jane

xx

Thank you Jane, you ramble away! 
I definitely don’t hold the tears in, couldn’t if I tried. Dave called me ‘a sweet soul’ I think more like I’m just too much of a wimp! Xx

Hugs from one wimp to another xx

Hi Alison sometimes we just cry these tears of love we once shared  and I have to say I was crying everyday for over a year when I think back to those early days oh God sorry for your loss again I don't think booze works for me gives me downer next day really ,hope you are brighter today Pineapple,  CD girl I'm talking to myself and answering sad life   better days 

Hi all,

I agree with everything thats been said, you’ve all got good hearts and like the majority of you, I rely on this site more and more for comfort as you’re the only people that I know that can really understand what I’m going through and that gives me so much comfort knowing that.

It’s only 6 weeks tomorrow (on Valentines day) since my wife Marie passed away and I cry all of the time, and especially when I look at her photograph as I know I’ll never see her beautiful face again or be able to talk to her, so I breakdown (literally sometimes) she really was my soulmate and the only woman I ever said I loved. 

So, you cry as much as you want because lets be honest we all need that outlet as its our bodies way of helping us to cope with our grief.

I also love a drink but like so many of you its the next day that the “dark cloud’ comes over me and I also just feel as ‘flat as a pancake’ so I’ve had to stop drinking for now until I can deal with the world a little better than I am at the minute, but I know thats not going to be for a very long time yet, so I may have to go back on the alcohol   .

Just in case it helps anyone who’s reading this post, I take a ‘one a night’ Nytol and it definitely has helped me to sleep a little better.

I wish you and everyone who reads our posts peace, as like so many of you this really is just the worst pain we’ll ever have to endure, at least I hope it is.

All the best Ian x

Thank you Jonta, & all of you 

We all know the help this site gives us. Doesn’t take away our pain but helps us feel less alone in it knowing the kind people on here all truly get you! 
I wish none of us had ever ‘had’ to meet but seeing as things happen out of our control it’s good to find places like this to reach out too. 

Sending strength to us all xxx

Hi Mypineapple and all,

It was so good of your friend to spend the evening with you and prepare dinner and bring red wine. And I really think that, even though we know that too much alcohol isn't good for us and particularly when we are already feeling very low, we sometimes need it because it gives us a good experience at the time and for some of us it takes the edge of the pain for a little while. 

I can understand that you cried with the first sip of the red wine which tastes normal again now thankfully because it made you think of how much Dave and you had been enjoying red wine before COVID. 

It is so good and important for us to cry, even though it is sometimes surprising how many tears we can have! 

I know that I have been drinking a lot more since Paul's death. It began shortly after Paul's death when I would have a Guinness or other beer, red or white wine and later Gin Tonic in the evening when either on the phone to family and friends, writing letters to my husband which I knew he would never read, or spending some evenings with friends. I have reduced my drinking over the past number of months because I was really afraid that I would become dependent on alcohol, I really don't want to become an alcoholic, but I still enjoy a lgass of wine or Gin Tonic particularly at weekends. 

Love, Mel.

Hi pineapple 

sending you a big virtual hug x