New to the group and just saying hi.

Hi Wheels and welcome to the group. Sorry for your loss and also for what you have all had to endure as a family over the past 7 years, I can only imagine now difficult it must have been and to have the outcome that you have after all that is so cruel. Life can be a ba****ard sometimes!

I lost my husband 3 months ago, he had stomach cancer was diagnosed almost a year to the day before he died. We were told from diagnosis that it was incurable but you always hope don’t you? He was 52 and I am 47 (46 when he died so already been through one of the many ‘firsts). I have two adorable stepchildren who are grown up now and we also became grandparents last year, we were at least lucky enough for my husband to have a few months getting to know him.

I hope that you find support from this group, I know I have, from the moment my husband was diagnosed to now. I have also joined ‘widowed and Young’ (WAY) who are a very active support group around the UK, currently online but they do arrange meet ups in person when restrictions allow. As you were under 51 when losing your lovely wife you would be able to join should you wish. I find their support invaluable.

I hope that you continue to manage each day as best as you can, it is a difficult and painful road ahead and one that none of us wanted but I guess we have no alternative but to keep travelling on it.

Take care, Julie x

Hi, Wheels and Julie.

I to have found  this group an amazing support.  I lost my lovely husband last August,  we were married 47 years . The pain is dreadful,  I'm broken,  its a lifetime  really. This group share so many things  and ive found support from the beginning.  The other group you've found Julie sounds great, your still so young. I do sometimes speak with our priest who has been a great support.  But the pain goes on,  sometimes i can hardly speak at all, but i read the posts a lot , so much sadness. Cancer is evil. I can only take a day at a time. I have an amazing family two son a daughter and six grandchildren,  they keep mw me sane. Take care .

Hello Wheels, Julie and Bluebell 53

So sorry for your loss Wheels. What a traumatic journey you and your family have had.

This group is an amazing source of support for me. I lost my husband of 44 years last October, 21 weeks ago today. I always find Mondays really hard as I watch the clock and relive the awful events of that day. If I could, I’d stay in bed under the duvet on Mondays! 
I still have days where I can’t believe that he’s really gone and I definitely don’t do more than take each day as it comes. With apologies for repeating myself, some days all I achieve is getting showered, dressed and remembering to eat, other days I’m more productive. But I’ve accepted that if that’s how I am coping, then I’ll not worry too much. I’m lucky that I have a group of friends who are taking care of me with socially distanced walks (I don’t have a dog, unlike so many on here) and our wonderful sons are taking good care of me too..

But this group is so important too- being in touch with people who are going through the same pain is such a relief. 
Take care, be kind to yourself

Jane

x

Hi Jane,  

Yes its incredibly hard,  as you say some days just getting up and dressed is an effort.  It does help having friends and family close,  and this group,  even if we don't feel like talking we can come on hear.  Yes some days are better than others, but even the better days are filled with pain and disbelief.  Hopefully time will help us all a little.  Take care xx

Here

Hi Wheels, Julie, Bluebell53 & Jane 

Im glad you’ve reached out wheels. Communicating on here does help. 
The lovely ladies who have already replied say it so well. We are all feeling the enormous pain that really nobody can ever understand fully unless you live through it! 

Cancer really is evil. It steals lives. Wheels you’ve been through years of this up and down and I do hope that somehow, despite the awful outcome in the end you managed to have some good times in those years! 
My husband David was diagnosed Sept 2018 but by 18th Dec 2018 he had his kidney removed, it was low grade and somehow I put it right behind us and only thought about it when he was due his CT check up scan Dec 2019 and that scan was all clear. I really thought that was it, wouldn’t allow myself to think it could come back, told myself it was low grade, we got it early all good. 
I don’t know if Dave really felt that as much as me, he never really said and if he was ever worried he never showed it. 
Then 6th Jan this year the dreadful news it was back in his liver. He died 28th February his funeral was Friday just gone. 

I’m going through the motions, I’m being active on here, I’m keeping busy, albeit sorting Dave things every day though so torture in itself. But inside I’m so sad I feel constantly sick and everywhere I look, every thought I have it’s him and me and my heart just breaks over and over. 
I’m way too early in the game of all this to help anyone. You guys are helping me.., making me believe I can go on when I really don’t want too. 
xx

Sending hugs, MyPineapple 

xx

Hello Wheels and All x We are all here for you, if you need us. The grieving process is different for each of us, I don't think I have begun it yet, and my husband died at the very start of the first covid lockdown last year. I am glad you have your boys, and they you. The support you can give to them and the support they will give to you will make you even stronger, though no less sad. Christmas must have been a nightmare for you...when you are ready for fun days and weekends away, please go Life should be distracting at times! A hug for you all xx