Small talk

I sent email on Tuesday, saying that it wasn't a complaint just unanswered questions and if anything can be learnt from it. Had a phone call today, lovely lady explaining the process, asking for permission to talk to people. It will be independent as that is what I wanted, somebody not linked to the patient in any way, plus will look at whole e.g 12 week hospital stay and pallative care at home for 11 weeks. Good luck

I also contacted PALS back in October and they forwarded my letter to the official complaints department.  But, like everything else Covid is being blamed for the delayed response. Initially I  was told January but I'm still waiting.

In his final weeks my husband asked me to complain on his behalf after he had gone....that in itself was so wrong as he should not have been spending his last couple of weeks feeling let down by the NHS.

My complaint was a detailed chronologocal catalogue of mis-treatment and neglect, starting with his biopsy into his lung where they lost the end of the needle inside him!!! They never did find it! 

If it wasn't all so tragic it would have been a 9 month comedy of errors... I even had to physically shoulder a door onto a ward at 11pm to get him home at one point after waiting 4 hours in the foyer for them to bring him to me. By which point he was so upset he was throwing up loads of blood everywhere ..the doctor had discharged him 12 hours earlier but the nurses hadn't bothered to call a porter to push him and oxygen bottle to meet me downstairs.  His treatment was cancelled due to Covid and many other serious instances and events I shan't go into on this forum were so bad a doctor actually said to us that we should complain. 

We only ever found out the extent of his cancer by reading his discharge letters..no one had the decency to be honest. 

The complaint service at the hospital have responded in writing detailing my numerous serious complaints and I now await a response from the medical team. But, in reality I expect excuses and platitudes and inference that I simply don't understand medical issues and it was not their fault  ..blah blah. All I can hope is that behind scenes someone is held responsible and get their backside kicked. 

Will complaining change the outcome? Sadly no, but I will at least know that I honoured my beloved husband's request to have his complaints heard. 

So tragic, unbelievable treatment, it breaks my heart to hear.

I know nothing will bring him back and it won't change anything, I am stuck in this awful time, just want our old life back, more than happy to care for him and put up with patchy support. Luckily Rob was with it, until the end so muddled through together, he wouldn't have wanted me to complain. he coped brilliantly throughout it all, not like me now,

If I could only have him back.

Sending hugs xx

Hi chillichilli 

I am sorry for what you went through my heart really goes out to you xx  my situation is very different we had amazing care except for a say just prior to him dying and getting him home I am questioning his treatment which I am convincedwas unnessecary considering  how sick he was and a fall involving him breaking his leg the hospital saying he wasn’t in pain but upping his drugs and the fact that for 10 days I claimed he wasn’t capable of making choices on his own and he stopped phoning and I had to fight for them to help him and it turned out couldn’t remember how to but I know I am stuck here and need the answers I have just started couscelling and he suggested I ask someone to get the answer x