Getting though big dates

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There is alot of dates on the calender that I was and still am dreading christmas birthdays ect

Yesterday was our anniversary it would've been 18year's ,i have to say even though there was alot of tears it was a nice day i turned off my phone spent longer out walking the dog then spent the rest of the day listening to his records and looking though photos

I am proud of myself that I have got through 3 big days so far, the day he went to be cremated (no funeral he didn't want a big fuss not that you can with covid ) ,the first Christmas without him and now our anerversary

Only my birthday his birthday and the anerversary of his passing which is on the 4th of November so there will be lots of fireworks

I have started putting messages on my calender to let me know that I can get through all of these tough day's and can now remember him my own way making it a special day to focus on the good times we had not the bad

FormerMember over 3 years ago in reply to BootsyD

Thank you BootsyD and Kenickiesmum. I’m going to the cathedral tomorrow with my son covid permitting, light a candle think about good memories of Lynn x

Sarah2nd over 3 years ago

Hi Kate

You should be proud of yourself, these big significant dates are difficult & with reminders of treatment & diagnosis dates too it can feel like it goes on & on...

My husband died on our wedding anniversary,so that date is especially hard for me. But I’ve found that sometimes the hardest days are the ones that start quite ordinary but then stir all the emotions & memories up, & I find they can really unravel me. Last weekend I lost it cos I was trying to dish a roast up for me & my 3 kids & I was calling for them to come & help. Being teenagers, they all had music blaring &didn’t hear me & I just lost the plot a bit. I just thought this is something so routine & ordinary but my hubby & I always did it together & I really really miss him.
I think I’m always going to feel this loss. I still think about him all the time..... I can’t see that changing but it’s now becoming a part of the fabric of being me.
It’s early days for you, this year will be 3 years for me. Be kind to yourself & take it one day at a time.

big hugs to all

Sarah xx

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Getting though big dates