It’s the numbers

Good luck going back to work Johoe. Are you going back to the same hours or slowly easing in after a year? Hopefully it will provide you with your needed distraction, you can only try.

I am also going back to work in a week, phased return and then slightly reduced working week to try and get a better balance in my life. It will only have been 8 weeks by the time I return but I feel it’s something I need to do as sometimes I find myself just sitting here at home not knowing what to do. I’ve spent the last year working full time and caring for my hubby so now feel rather lost and redundant. I loved my job and he knew that so I think he’d be expecting me to go back.

It feels strange trying to return to some form of normality and what would have been part of my old life with my husband, as each new step feels like I’m leaving him behind. But I know that’s not the case and I’ll take him with me in my heart in everything I do moving forward. His amazing love is what will allow me to keep going in the future and try to find a way to live life and enjoy it for the two of us.

This group is my lifeline and I would never have got this far without your support and generally being a sounding board so thank you all x

Kenickiesmum and jojoe. Yes, that deep pain, stops me in my tracks.  Always thought heartache was just a poetic fancy, but, we know it’s real. Just wanted to wish jojoe well in your going back to work. I hope, if it’s a job you like, that you will start to have moments when you suddenly think “oh, I feel like ME, how I used to be”: And that’s good..On the other hand,  I am much less tolerant of stress since he was ill and died, and I am factoring that into my work choices.  Just keeping going is a big win, so don’t expect too much of yourself if that’s possible.️

Thank you all for your kind words of encouragement - it means a lot. Bramblejoo I just went back for my four days. It was organised for phased return in the new year but I just wasn't ready and then I felt like I just needed to get back. 

Three days of work done and so far so good. I work with children so they're a good distraction. JSBach_addict you are right when you say about feeling like 'me' as the first day back I thought 'oh this is what I do'. The familiarity of the people and place were comforting. I feel sad on an evening when I get home but that's to be expected for a long time to come I'm sure. First steps have been positive though. Good luck Bramblejoo! Sending you all a hug.

So glad it’s going okay so far Jojoe, let’s hope it stays that way. We need to grab any positives wherever we can get them.

I go back Tuesday, though I’ve already been dipping into my emails to make sure I don’t go back to loads!