Lack of sleep and guilt

Hugs right back to you Bramblejoo. Xx

Lifes beaten you guys up enough without you beating yourselves up. 

Hindsight is a treacherous friend if a friend at all and we can re run the what if, maybe I, why didn't I, shouldn't I have noticed etc for eternity and the end result would have been the same.

The death's of your loved ones are as much a part of life as all the other stuff. The pain, sorrow, empty feelings and what do I do now void are all the biggest testament to your loved ones.

Please celebrate them, the joy they brought and the good times. Acknowledge the pain and in some way try to see it as a natural part of the situation..

Thanks mccmcc, your words are positive and make so much sense.

I'm feeling rubbish this morning so you have helped lift my spirits x

Couldn’t have said it better. I am feeling pretty down today too. Haven’t made it out of bed yet as sometimes I wonder what the point is of getting up to just another day of feeling empty and alone without my gorgeous hubby.

But then it’s because he gave me the best of times for the last 23 years that is the very reason that perhaps I should carry on. I’m sure that’s what he would want. I guess it would be very selfish of me not to even try living life when he doesn’t get a choice anymore. We have a beautiful baby grandson and another grandchild on the way, he was such a proud grandad and had so many plans to get up to mischief with than. I owe it to him to do that for him x

I don't often post now. It is five years since my husband died so I am well along this road now. Most of you on this particular conversation are recently bereaved and I'd like to make a couple of comments. Firstly, what mccmcc says is so wise and true. Secondly, it is the case with most of us that in the early days our memories focus in on the bad parts of our lives and bereavement but I promise you as time passes the good bits will eclipse the bad bits. Yes, there will be times when we feel down but there will also be times of joy.

Thankyou, comments like yours give me hope that one day life will return to some sort of normality and I will be happy again.  x

I know how you feel about the widow part that was one of the first things that went through my mind I'm only 41 we were ment to grow old together. Today was hard i had to change my details at work for my next of kin from my husband to my mum there was a few tears in the toilets after doing that it was one of the last things left to do just felt so final 

I’d not even thought of that! Guess I’ll have to do that at some point. Joy...

It is very difficult coming to terms with that label, widow/er. I think that may have started me off thinking about it all again (or maybe just another part of the grief process). Just wanted to say thank you all for your posts, it certainly helped, got a good nights sleep. Think sometimes that goes a long way to helping the rational side of your brain work again. 

Hi there,

I am so very sorry for your loss. I am glad you have found this group where everyone has experienced the loss of a spouse and therefore there is a lot of understanding for you here. Please keep posting here and there will always be someone (and even many) who respond. 

Lots of love, Mel.