Getting professional help

Hi Eemily,

It is so brave of you to come to that decision and I hope it helps you. I’m sure it won’t be wasting time as it will give you the opportunity to just talk about your partner in a way that maybe you can’t to friends and family. It is worth trying if you think it could help.

I have never tried professional help but I am very open with everyone about how I feel, and I think that is helping me. But it is certainly something that I will bear in mind for the coming months x

Hi Eemily

I lost my lovely husband of 47 years in August,   at first i felt numb, kept thinking he'd be back , i was with him from age 19, a whole lifetime  really, as weeks and then monthspast i realised i wasn't doing well at all, i have been prescribed a low dose antidepressant, which are also supposed to help me sleep a bit better as thats another problem. I can't say its made much difference , i was offered counselling,  but i speak with our priest which i find gives me some comfort,  its just so painful. But sometimes we need extra help, im hoping in time things will ease a bit. I think the antidepressants have taken the edge off a bit . Hopefully you'll find something that will help you , we can't always do it on our own.  

Take care,  xx

I think I’m needing to talk to someone that has no connections and won’t judge. Also looking for the best advice I suppose. I feel like I’m holding back with friends and family and that may cause me not to grieve properly. Thank you x 

Like you I thought I was doing well and Christmas Eve I broke, which kind of shocked me, as I had been standing up tall.  Since then each day has been a struggle, so I know it’s the right time. Thank you x  

I had counselling with Cruse quite early on as I was so devastated & broken, sadly it only made me feel more lonely & depressed so I gave up after 4 sessions. I think I pinned too much hope into the counselling helping me through my overwhelming grief. I’m also on antidepressants they don’t help me sleep, I get 3 hours a night max. 

Gosh it’s just so hideous isn’t it! The one thing that helps me is knowing I’m not alone in my grief. There are so many of you wonderful people out there opening up about how you feel and it honestly helps me more than you can imagine.

So thank you. I’m trying to tell myself that no matter how low I feel someone is always worse off than me. Plus my wonderful amazing hubby would want me to carry on loving life for the two of us x

I spoke to someone from the local hospice. The first telephone conversation was mostly me venting off  about covid taking over and cancer being pushed aside and basically having a go at at someone who had nothing to do with what happened! 4 sessions on I felt nothing was gained apart from me sounding off! The response was turned back to me all the time as in 'how did that make you feel?' What I wanted was a group thing where experiences were shared by people who had 'been there' who knew how the grief actually felt. I stopped the calls because I felt like I gained nothing  from that set up. I would like to speak to a group of people on the same situation but that isn't happening anytime soon I hope you get some better results but the current situation is more than a pain in the derrierè

But how did it make you feel Boots?? Apart from a pain in the backside!

It made me feel like it wasted about 3 hours of my life that I won't get back! And the lad I spoke to seemed to agree with things I said- only thing was I couldn't see him tilt his head and nod!! I've gained more from this site to be honest,  lockdown has ballsed up any 'meetings' Anyways I have got by with you bereavers being there 39 weeks on and 'things' are easier but boy am I bored without my Prince 

Oh the head tilt! My hubby and I said from the day he was diagnosed that we couldn’t not stand the head tilt that we seemed to get from every doctor or consultant. Actually it was the Macmillan nurses who just talked to my hubby like he was still a normal human being.

Yes certainly feels like I’m living in Groundhog Day right now...

x