Every One Must Be Busy

Hello ellie,  

I wanted to reply to your post because you've put into words exactly how i feel , i lost my lovely husband of 47 years in August  and like you i miss him more as time goes by , i miss everything about him , and feel so lost and scared without him, its been a bit longer for you ellie, does it get a bit easier with time , i know its different for everyone but at the moment i can't seem to feel any different.  Im very fortunate that we have an extremely close family two son's and a daughter and six grandkids who i see most days and the grandkids stay over,  its because of thrm i keep going,  my husband loved them staying with us, but the pain i feel  is always there. Hope i haven't gone on.

Hi Bluebell53

I am sorry you are feeling this way  as well, my hubby pasted last October, does it get easier, in some ways.

I think when they leave us we are in a time whirl every thing stands still and you just go along in slow motion.

As time goes on it becomes reality , this is what you now have to face, and in some ways is harder than at the beginning as this is real.

It is the simple things for me that hit the hardest, he  always made a cup of tea a 9pm, now i do it stupid little things.

I said to my adult children i am lost i do not know who i am on my own was always the  two of us, was married for 53 years so i do not know a life without him.

I also have to sons and a daughter though they have  lives to get on with though they are very good, I told them they will never know and i hope they do not, know how this fills, i am cut in half, lost,  a lone, not lonely.

I know it was their dad it is different  when he was the other of me,

I am not so sad as time goes, but different feelings are rearing their ugly head.

Though every one is different and perhaps cope better than others, we have to get threw this some how, but at the moment i really can not see a light at the end of this road.

Take Care Ellie xx 

Hi ellie

Thank you so much for your reply,  it is very hard, i know I'll miss my wonderful husband for the restbof my life, hopefully in time things will get a little easier for us. I keep going for my family,  like you say its a mix of different emotions.  Take care.

Hi Ellie 

you had a bad day Sunday I know all the feeling you talk about I seem to have them dwell on them or just dwell on the past don’t look forward just see how the day goes for me  

oh know I’m still mister grumpy got get through this year 

take care 

Martin x

Hi Ellie 

It has only been 4 1/2 weeks for me  since in lost my husband, i have found it harder this last week as all the paper work and phone calls have been done  it was better when I was kept busy as I was on auto pilot when i was in the house and didn't have to think too much about the loss and loneliness now it hits me more, little things like putting the bins out which is one of the jobs neil did makes me stop and gets me upset again when I am at work most of the time I can switch off and again go on auto pilot until I get home 

Hi Elli73 and all,

Yes I am extremely busy. I am writing the And assignment for my course with LivingWell dying well and a Reiki proposal for Irish hospitals. And I am also working with clients on zoom during The week.

I agree with you: I miss my husband more as time goes on also.

lots of love, Mel.

Hi Mel

Reiki is so relaxing had it for three years at the hospice, and would not have missed it for anything, my hubby and i both had it.

Take Care Ellie x