Hi
I have been doing really well. Moving forward. Today I have hit a brick wall.
Full of tears again. It is a year ago since we got diagnosis. He was supposed to be here still for a year or two but only 3 months max. I am starting to think was there anything else I should have done again. It is stressing me and my asthma has exacerbated. I am coughing so much. I can't get on top of it even with oral steroids. I phoned the GP yesterday as work was worried. I can't be coughing all the time. Now I have to stay off and have a covid test. The Dr was on about hospital. Absolutely no chance as I have no trust in them after all the mistakes with Ric. I am pretty sure it is only my asthma and I am not I'll just coughing.
To cap it all, my unfortunate mistake is starting to send out mixed messages to me! One minute he wants my friendship, then a relationship and then nothing. He unfriended me last night on FB and to be honest that was fine. He has another jealous woman on the go and I don't need it but this morning I get a private message implying friendship again. I just said what is this all about? I don't need this.
I just want a big hug from someone who cares and lives me and now I am isolated and waiting to hear about a covid test. I need to work and be busy. I have little to do at home except think! Which I 
n't want to do at the moment. I just wish it would all get better and go back to normal I saw s memory on FB of a holiday a few years ago this morning and find myself wishing I could go back! The mo I stress, the more I cough!!! 
Hi,
I’m new to the site but have been reading the posts and just wanted to send you a hug 
Reading about your symptoms, is it possible that you have a chest infection? My dad has bad asthma and he has an emergency pack with steroids and antibiotics.
The guy that’s sending you mixed messages sounds very insecure to me if he needs all this attention. My advice, if you want it! don’t feed his ego.
It would be lovely if we could go back but that’s not an option. We are lucky to have such good memories to keep us going.
Hope you’re feeling a bit better now, it’s a wobbly path, one step at a time xx
Hi Alison these fb memories are both beautiful and sad at times. We just have to roll with it and let it all out then pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and start allover again (
cue fir a song
)all these dates are hurdles we have to jump and jump we will 
Hope your steroids kick in soon and calm your asthma down.
Now as for Mr WasteofSpace... if you are not number 1 in his book and there is a jealous 'other'woman on the scene I say let her have him!!! He's already let you down and appears to behaving like a dick AGAIN 
just don't reply for a while and treat him like someone you vaguely know.
Lots of hugs for you, you're a tougher cookie than you think xxx
