It’s been 10 months

Aww bless you Poppy51 life's a bitch but please don't hide away, not here at least. Say whatever you need to-  there's always someone listening/reading who will answer you. You can channel your love into your puppy and tell him (or her) anything but won't get any replies.  Covid has been horrible, I  buried my husband Colin on 20 April and we were allowed 8 (ish) people at the graveside with no proper service- it was awful but this site has been amazing for me and many others and will be for you too xx 

Hello Poppy, my first post on here but I have been reading the posts and getting some comfort from them. What a horrible shock for you,so  quick and hopeless. My husband passed away 6 months ago, after being diagnosed 8 months earlier and I thought that was quick. Like BootsyD we could only have up to 10 people at the funeral, no wake etc. It’s a really difficult time for us all. 
Im glad you’ve got another dog, mine is almost 13 and I can’t bear to think of losing him too. They are such good company. 
I know what you mean about life feeling empty. I still can’t sleep properly and can’t be bothered to cook for myself. I only carry on because my husband fought so hard to stay 

Thank you both for your replies. My life was completely normal November last year. Well maybe regular not normal! We were both working and had busy lives. Hubby had no symptoms. Then bang tests from December found us in front of a consultant who told him there is nothing he could do and no treatment available.  I just felt numb and remember a tear just slowly running down my face. Things then got very hard very quick. A complete blur if I’m honest.  It was the Thursday when the palliative care nurse came that I realised he only had days not weeks or months and he passed away 3 days later.  I was just in total shock. We had been together since age 16. He was 51. 

You are right tomorrow is another day. I am grateful that we had the chance to give him the send off he deserved. A big funeral with lots attending. I am so sorry that you did not get to do that.  I am grateful for the time I have had in lockdown to spend with my 3 kids alone to grieve in private. I am grateful that I have a garden giving me space to reflect and the therapy I need.  I Am grateful for the company my lovely old dog gave me in those early days. I am also grateful for the puppy. He’s a joy to me and has got me out walking again. 

life is empty but times are also crazy.  Things will never go back to normal and I need to find a new normal that suits me.   

I feel stronger today. We need to be kind to ourselves.  Sausagedog1. Cook to pass the time. Walk your lovely dog to wear yourself out that will help you sleep. 

Thank you. My husband had no real symptoms either. He was a bit tired,  but was working full time, going to the gym and we were renovating our eldest daughters house, so not surprising. He went to blood donors and could not donate for the first time ever because his iron levels were too low. He then went to the drs and blood tests and then scan showed secondaries before we even knew about the primary. He had chemo and looked fit and well all the way through. 
Even though we could only have 10 people at the funeral, all his colleagues from work and vehicles turned up outside. It meant so much that he was so well thought of. 
I too am lucky to have a garden to spend time in. My dog refuses to go walks now! I have been a lovely walk in the Peak District with some good friends, we are lucky to be in Tier1. 

I am trying to keep a focus on the positives I still have in my life despite the gaping hole. It sounds like you have them too. Tier 1 is a good place to be. I’m stuck back in lockdown in wales but at least I have my puppy who will go on walks and we have some lovely countryside around us. A dog is such good company isn’t it and they can read your mood x

We had some lovely holidays in Wales, near Aberdovey. My dog has arthritis and has to lose 2kg, he has already lost 0.5kg in 2 weeks and is having a course of injections. I’m hoping he will be interested in walking again soon. He is running about in the garden chasing his ball so fingers crossed! 

Ah sounds like he’s on the right route.

My dog has now lost 0.9kg so almost half way there! He’s much more active but now obsessed with his squeaky ball which is driving me mad!

I am so sorry you are feeling so down. But it is very understandable. Way too much loss and then also this situation with COVID-19 which makes us for more isolated and far less active than we would normally be or want to be at least. As somebody else said on here, please don't hide away. You can say anything you want here and there is always going to be somebody here, or even many, who will read your post and speak with you. Love, Mel

Well done to your dog! Halfway and more active is fab. Won’t be long and u will be on long walks which are so good for the soul. Fresh air and space.  This is my walk today