It’s still not real but also very real

Hi, so sorry for your loss (even so sorries don't really help). 

Don't worry about your feelings or what should be normal or not. Embrace everything that comes, it's part of the process. 

It takes ages for the brain to process all this. I lost my wife 5 weeks ago and I still don't know how I feel. Sometimes it's ok, sometimes it feels like the end of the world.

My advice is to take it easy, one step at a time. And small steps too.

You've come to the right place.

Hi Angjo

Sorry to hear this terrible news.

It is really early days and you are still shocked. Take it slowly and see how you feel. We all manage differently.

My husband died of lung cancer too, diagnosed October and died 28 December. I found him gone and it wa totally unexpected so quickly. The hospital gave us false hope of more than a year with their stupid chemo! I think I knew differently deep down.it is a cruel disease. I am now managing pretty well, go hours to maybe a day or two when I don't think about him but then it changes again when something triggers it. I miss him still but I don't cry as much now. I can think about him without crying. 

Life as they say does go on and I think he would want that. I am moving forward in many ways. And you will too in time. The early days are the hardest, memories, what ifs, and all sorts of emotions are whirling around!!!

Keep posting we all understand

Love and hugs Alison xxx

Angjo - hello. It is safe to talk here and say anything, there are no rules to how we feel or what we do. It may help just to put them on this site.  The beauty of here is that we all have different experiences but a common thread of loss and everything is ok. 

Hi Angjo,  so sorry you have found yourself here, hopefully you'll find this site helpful,   there aren't any word really that can describe how awful it feels to lose someome we love, i lost my wonderful husband of 47 years 5 weeks ago, also from lung cancer, we were told a year to 14 mouths apox with treatment but sadly he only got months, like you I'm devastated,  i have an amazing family all close,  but still the emptiness and loneliness is dreadful,  i guess its a day at a time, i hope you find  tslking here helps and you in time find peace. Take care.

I mean four months

Thank you for making me feel not quite so alone.

i went back to work today - well as much as you can go back when you’re working from home - it felt good to be a little bit normal. But I found I could only do meetings with multiple participants, I’m not ready yet for people to ask me how I am.

i know some of my colleagues are querying why I’m back so soon, it’s like they are expecting me to implode and maybe they’re right and maybe I won’t be back every day, but it felt right for me for today

Hi

I did the same went back to work after  only two compassionate days and then had one for the funeral! It gave me a week off because it was Christmas and bank holidays. I don't regret that. I needed to be busy and still do.

We all cope differently. There is no right or wrong. 

Take care. We are all here

Love and hugs Alison xxx

Hi Angjo

Sorry to hear your sad news , no matter how much you think you are prepared for the inevitable it still takes us all by surprise.

You need to everything at your pace, when you are ready you need to heal and recover your strength because you have been an ordeal too.

No right or wrongs here just friends who understand and have been similar if not the same.

I feel so lucky to be amongst such a great group of people 

Lizzy