Monday was so hard,I

Bless you Ellie. I guess some thing will always throw us off guard. Hope all is ok with the scan.

It is what has been upsetting me most through covid, patients having to be alone! It is not right and goes against my thoughts. I am sure he was there with you though.

Take care

Love and hugs Alison xxx

Hi Ellie 

life is so strange I hate the beginning of the month The date comes round  I’m dreading Christmas my wedding anniversary was horrible in July  

it’s the feeling of being alone when you have to do something or just the loneliness that’s what I find the hardest 

the ct scan was fine when do you get the other results back 

take care 

martin x

Hi Martin

That made me laugh, i meant i was fine, ct and mri results on the 16th sep.

Have done first Christmas and his birthday, our anniversary is coming up, think that will be a hard one,'So many first's,

I did smile on Friday, went shopping with my sister, Tom always wrote the same saying in any card he sent me be it Christmas, birthday or anniversary which was

Loved you at the beginning

Love you still

Always have and Always Will.

Well walking round,  the shop there it was

A stone heart with the exact same message on it,  i asked if they had another one in a box, no the last one left, it was meant to be,it is on a nice rope and hanging up makes me smile.

Take Care Ellie x

Hi Ellie 

so Friday was a good day for you  and you can look at it and think of Tom 

I remember you saying it was your wedding anniversary soon 

I have ask work if I can go on to nites it was less stressful the week i did 

 but you still miss them  every day  went fishing with Diane’s dad today  day was okay a bit of company better than being alone like normal 

that’s my biggest problem the loneliness 

take care 

martin x

That is lovely Ellie. I went out today and had been sorting photos just before for his children, our record was playing in the pub. Strange isn't it. September 16 th is my daughter's birthday, I hope that is a good day for you too.

Good to hear from you Martin. I am dreading Christmas too. It would have been our 10th wedding anniversary on 23rd and he died on the 28th! But at least I should have the days off. I am glad the nights have suited you and as long as sleep is ok in the day, then yes less hassles on night's

Take care 

Love and hugs Alison xxx

Hi Alison 

they are going to let me know next week if I can go on to nites  

if not I just mite leave  

Christmas will not be nice but you have your children 

I do read the all the post don’t always say a lot 

take care 

martin x

Hi Martin

Glad you got to go fishing, Tom loved his fishing days, and you had Diane;s dad with you that is nice.

I know what you mean i can keep busy so not lonely, but i am alone, there is a difference we always disgust everything, paying the bill, holidays,job's that need doing now i have to make that decision  on my own i do not like that. No one to talk to regarding a programme i might have watched, and no one making my tea, that was Tom's job.

Have had a nice evening son, daughter in law, and granddaughter came over we got a Chinese, and yes two bottles wine, for the two of us, went down very well..

I hope they let you do nights if it is better for you,

Take Care Elliexx

Hi Akela

You will get threw Christmas i did it last year Christmas Morning having breakfast on my own, i just kept thinking it is just another day and you have to get threw it and i did,

Its coming up to our anniversary 1st October and he died on the 8th, think that is going to hit home a little bit.

Can not believe where the time has gone, hardest year i have ever gone threw and for the same for people on this group.

You never ever think it may happen to you, it happens to others and you fill for them, but having no idea of what it really means for the whole family.

Take Care Elliexx

Hi Ellie

Strange how they died so close to our anniversary. Perhaps it is so we just get one hard hit! 

I will be ok at Christmas but the time has gone quickly in a funny sort of way. 

I hope you get the nights Martin. But then if you are not happy then yes change your job. We all know life is too short! 

Love and hugs Alison xxx

Hi Ellie and Alison 

Diane went into hospital Christmas Eve  and then life was turned up side down 

time does go by quickly still will dread Christmas  I’ve taken some time off in January in case  i fall apart 

the job I will ask see what they say and go from there or ask them for the hr number 

the days fishing was nice with Diane’s dad her mum is nice the rest of her family I don’t know but that’s okay I have made the effort to get to know her mum and dad it’s so strange the way life is 

and you are right it’s been a hard year for us all on here 

take care 

martin x