Medication

Hi Peter,

I think we can all relate to that outwardly appearing okay and feeling hollow inside feeling. I don't know when you lost your loved one and have no experience of taking antidepressants. Visiting your doctor is a a good call. As well offering medication there may be other support available.

I found it very difficult in the early days to even cry so watched movies that made me cry. I saw it as the releasing of the pressure valve effect, as there were lots emotions to deal with. I also found exercise released stored up emotions. Just a simple walk outside in nature had this effect on me too. I suggest, perhaps you can go out for walk this weekend in a nice park or locally. And don't worry if you cry on these walks, I did many a time. 

In the interim, please keep us posted on how you are doing over the weekend.

Sending you a big virtual hug,

With lots of love,

Dutsie Xx

Hi Peter, I can fully understand how you feel. Although I've only been on antidepressants since last November & had my dose doubled in May, I don’t think they’re working properly. My husband passed 5 weeks ago & I feel worse with each day that goes by. I spend most of the time in a very dark, low place just wishing I could join my husband . If it weren’t for our sons I can honestly say I don’t think I’d be here as I simply can’t face the future without him.

My GP says I’m on the maximum dose & is reluctant to change my medications as she says she doesn’t want to “zombie-fy” me. She’s arranged for me to have bereavement counselling with Cruse, not sure if it will help but, worth a try.

Like you, people think I’m coping remarkably well, but they don’t see me for the hours & hours when I’m in tears & empty.

Hopefully your doctor will be able to help you. Look after yourself. You’re not alone 

Thank you for your kind words Dutsie, going to the park sounds a good idea.   A big hug to you too xx

Peter

Hi Kernowp, I’m very similar, my grown up children and my dog keep me going, without these life anchors I don’t think I would be still here.   I can see you really loved your husband and it is a daily struggle living without our spouses, everyone here understands that pain.   My crying is saved for bedtime when no one can see me, during the day I put on a front showing Peter coping okay and getting on with life.   This is far from reality, my heart aches with grief every day.

I am sure the counselling your Dr is arranging will help, these people are experts in this field and understand how best to help you.  Wishing you all the best.  Take care xxx

Thank you Peter. Yes I loved my husband dearly we were inseparable. I physically hurt & can truly understand the term broken heart.

You must have loved your wife dearly too & it’s good that you are keeping going for your children, even they are grown up they still need you. 

I wish you all the best too, take care. Xx

Hi Dutsie, I went to my local park like you suggested today.  It was soothing watching bees move from flower to flower. I could watch them for hours.   Definitely going again, good to get out of the house.

I have decided don’t like being on 40mg AD’s daily so cut my dose down a bit, now taking 30mg for a while see how I get on. 

Peter x

Hi Peter,

Very happy to hear from you. I had a couple bad days, as suffer from migraines from time to time. So stayed indoors Friday/Saturday. 

Just come back from a walk. It was a lovely evening, looking up at the stars, without tripping over! I was thinking about you on this walk and how we,widows/widowers, have a tendency to over analyse things. Its only natural as there are a lot of emotions to contend with. In time, you will feel lighter. 

The phrase, it is okay not to be okay sprung to mind. Something, that took me a while to understand.

I am glad you enjoyed your walk and time in nature. Even with a cloud hanging over you there is beauty all around us to appreciate. I hope you keep up the walking. 

Night night,

With lots if love,

Dutsie Xx