Emotional wreck!

Ali - does sound tough and even thinking how it might be sounds difficult. I hope you find a way to navigate this and hope you have options or chances for them to hear and understand what you might find difficult and what you might need for yourself.  Hope you can  make sure you have what you need for yourself.  I like ranting, does me good, helps me see what I might need for myself rather than try and appease or think of others first. 

Hi Ali,

I am sure it will be hard seeing his things etc, maybe you could see Dad first and leave the children at dads whilst you go and open up and grab a few moments alone. Have your tears, say Hi to Mark and then go back for the children when you are ready in a couple of hours. I don't know if that is feasible. It sounds a lovely place to scatter Mark. It might make you feel better to do it. We are all different.

I am scattering Ric next week. It will be hard, part of me wants to keep him but it is only his bones really. He has already gone. I am going to keep a little bit back because I am having second thoughts about jewellery or one of those beautiful garden orbs like paddlefish has. I don't want to regret not having a bit of him but he was a bit of a free spirit and it is time to let him go. I have my memories. But that is just me.

I hope it all goes well and once you have done it you will probably be pleased you have. You are lucky to have a retreat. We had a caravan once but sold it a few years back. 

Love and hugs Alison xxx

Oh Ali I could cry with you!! There's a saying you may have heard of - 'feel the fear and do it anyway'  it can apply to so many things.  Somethings can't be avoided and we just take a deep breath and go ahead. Every1 will probably cry with you, it's a first for you all and together is a good way to go. I will be thinking of you on Saturday, your dad will give you a lively cuddle I'm sure xx

Sounds like a good plan x

Aluson you have waited a long time to scatter Ric. The garden ornament looked like a good idea  x

Thanks to you all for replying. I have spoken to the kids and we're going to take him with us (on a road trip!) and see how we feel when we're there....we're going in his car too!

Nellie, good for you, I wish I was a bit braver!  We are all still young!

Alison, I will be thinking about you next week too and hope it all goes to plan, I know you've waited a long time. I do think we have to let them go and be free. I shall try to enjoy the break as I know we are lucky to have somewhere to escape to.

BootsyD, thanks for you kind words. I always find you very positive and upbeat. I try to be like that most of the time but had a real wobble today.

Love Ali x

Bless ya I was crying like a baby last night and again this morning but I've picked myself up again now, I think! All over Rod Stewart's Have I told you lately that I love you. He would say that and I'd say Yes but tell me again!! X

I made this Cadbury colour arrangement from fake flowers in the hope the squirrels don't eat them! 

Ah that looks lovely. It must be nice to have somewhere to go to visit.  Now where's that chocolate....

I have waited a long time but I also wanted it to be a day that would mean something for him so what better day.to return him to his beloved army base where he joined up than the day he signed up. I hope he thinks I chose wisely. 

Ali that sounds like a great plan, seehsee you all feel at the time. You will know if it is right. I like the idea of Mark travelling with you anyway. It sounds fun. I will be thinking of you all but enjoy the break away and give your dad that big hug you have been waiting for. We are lucky to have our dads still. 

I still laugh because when I went to the undertaker and collected Ric it wasn't really my plan, only went to pay the bill but just felt right to bring him home so he had a trip to Tesco on the way back! I talked to him all the way, told hm I would be quick and said see you in a minute when I got my bags out the boot. Someone was watching me strangely in the car park!!! Lol. He would have found that hilarious! 

I have had a lovely day at home, painted the garage door and porch and then gardening. Everyone I go to the little plot I put a few of Ric's ashes and his dog tags in, there is something else blooming. Nothing ever grew there before, I think he approves of me removing the tree! 

Love and hugs Alison xxx

I love the flowers Bootsy, beautiful colours..xxx

It is good to have somewhere to go. If Colin hadn't said he wanted burying I would have had him cremated. It makes me visit everyday otherwise I would spend too much time at home. On the other hand I can't have a garden ashes ornament!!

I hope your caravan weekend has been good and all went to plan. 

Virtual hug for you