Widening my Bereavement support - Way-Up

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I value and remain part of this group. This group and you lot have got me through something that I never imagined would happen. 

In these Covid days, all the community and peer support stopped. The Hospice group I was due to go to and another one locally all stopped. In my friends, I have no one who has lost a partner so have felt very isolated in grieving, apart from you lot here.  Having no children and only two family members who are basically a drain on me as I have caring responsibilities, I have been sitting at home with the dogs with no one to talk out loud to. Having this forum has been a life line. 

And alongside this I am going to widen my bereavement support. I have found something called Way-Up - a group/organisation/network for people generally 50+ who are bereaved. I have joined. This might give me some more local connections for future support.  I dont know the reach of the organisation, but I am hopeful that as the world keeps turning, I will turn with it and being a widow will become part of my life experience and I grow with it, rather than it stopping everything. 

https://way-up.co.uk/

It was International Widows day on 23 June and I have been humbled by how relatively easy I have it. 

  • Widening your Bereavement Support sounds like some kind of procedure to make sitting down a bit more comfy! Or am I the only one who can see that? I am? OK I'll get my coat....

    Seriously though,once 'we' have been through this 'they' never really can understand how we have now become different creatures almost like a societal group apart. My first wife was West Indian and only when we got together did I see how 'them' and 'us' operated.

    So good for you Nellie are we going to see the WMGMC* soon? (Imagine that emblazoned across your colours as you head out in the pack? I reckon it would be easy to get affiliation)

    *Widows Moto Guzzi Motorcycle Club

    "Sometimes life is hideous, other times it's worse!"

  • International widows day - they don't put that in the diary do they!!! I hope nobody sends me a card next year, specially as no one remembered this year!!

    I like this group and you invisible Bereavers/friends too !! None of my friends have lost their partner either so they sympathise but don't know how I feel. I have no children of my own, but Colin has 4 lads all grown up with us so they are like mine. They have their own lives to live with their little families etc, it's not very often 1 of them doesn't ring or text - usually the youngest ( nearly 26) I might check out way-up and see if they are near me.

    Enjoy the lovely weather!

    BootsyD

    Tomorrow is another day
  • LOL!!! mccmcc Don't forget to shut the door!!! lol!!

    Tomorrow is another day
  • I was told about WAY (widowed and young) by the Hospice when I first lost Mark. Apparently it's for 55 and under and WAYUP was over 55's. I was 55 so couldn't decide which way to go LOL. 

    I was receiving group counselling at the time so didn't really think I needed it and I came on here but I might have another look. 

    My friends are fab but they haven't even lost a parent let alone a spouse so really cannot imagine what we're going through.

    It's been almost 7 months for me now and is still very raw but as time moves on I think people either forget or think I should be 'over' it by now. 

    We were together for over 37 years, sometimes I still can't believe I'm never going to see or touch him again, or hear his voice.

    I just read that article about International Widows Day. Truly shocking what some people have to go through.

    Ali x

  • I think there are medical products to help with Widening Support areas - check out your local mobility assistance shop. 

    A bit like Broadening My Horizons which also might involve some discomfort and stretch marks. 

    I am a bigger person for being with my partner through fun, illness and death - about 3 stone bigger so struggling to get into clothes - just chucked them.  

    I may well start the Moto Guzzi Widows Motor Cycle Club - and am owning The Widow Twanky today as wearing  rather strange outfit of cloths not thrown away. Nothing wrong with a psychedelic kaftan and an Adidas shell suit. 

    I may need to borrow the colander and tin foil as over tired, over  hot and over baked. 

  • And here we've just had rain the like of which you never see in the UK, believe it or not there are clouds going past at my height as I peer out of the window..

    As long as it's a Turquoise Kaftan and Red tracksuit you'll be OK..

    "Sometimes life is hideous, other times it's worse!"

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to mccmcc

    View envy again!

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Nellie you are an inspiration, not sure about the international widow's day though still struggling with that "title" 

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to AliG55

    The group's in our area when they start up again are in distinct age groups too.

    My GP who is about 10/15 year's younger than me started to recommend one that his Mum had joined and then back tracked very quickly because he just put me into the 70's category! 

  • Morning, to those up early. I managed to wait till 5 am till getting up today. I find weekends more difficult because of lack of structure. Friends are either in couples or very very single and so life in the non-bereaved world just goes on the same.

    I managed to wipe out Saturday having drunk too much Friday. My excuse : was dashing about doing mothers shopping, cooking washing etc, saw husbands sons new house and forgot to eat or drink any water in the heat.  Then straight to a friends to plough straight into the red wine. Have a slight worry that I may have  been flirting with friends' beautiful female 30 year old lodger. Oops. 

    So yesterday and today I will step away and will go back to basics of tidying, shopping being sensible.  Todays motto - drink more water. 

    I am really missing sitting and eating with someone. I like eating with people. Fed up of cooking and eating alone.