Yeah I know, it's a bit of a draw them in title, but something very odd occurred today.
This morning I was faffing about in the kitchen and noticed the Olive oil bottle I use for salads was about half empty.
I decided to top it up, tried to flick off the plastic lid with knife, dropped the bottle and the oil ran out over the posh wood floor. I did a FFS here and there and began to mop it up, then everything suddenly became too much and I wept like a child for goodness knows how long on the floor as I dabbed (the mopping motion not the dance move) pathetically at the oil.
Something seemed to break inside, it was very disconcerting as if some kind of inner door had burst open flooding everything with this weird pain and outpouring. I don't even know how long I was like that and one thought I had was a kind of calm I'm having a breakdown sort of scenario. (I'm not explaining this very well but I'll plod on) As my tears subsided I felt absolutely drained and knackered.
I met up with a friend this afternoon as she wanted to show off her new baby, but he has Downs Syndrome but again he's lovely and a proper little cracker and it dawned on me there as Jose Mujica said.
"In life you have to learn to keep on your shoulder a backpack of pain. But you don’t have to live looking at this backpack, you have to look forward"
So did I have some kind of breakdown, shit morning, or revelation as now I actually feel quite sad as usual but more content and accepting of what has happened? (Or am I just plain old bonkers?)
sevond try!!!
