My husband age 32 passed on 24th febuary

Hi Sammy, 

I am sorry to hear about your loss. You are far too young to go through this, but unfortunately, cancer doesn't choose. You have to be strong for your little girls.

You are definitely not alone in this situation. You will see, there are plenty other people suffering same losses. 

Your story is similar to mine. My husband was diagnosed on 5th July last year and passed away on 21st July. He was given no treatment, only pain control. The cancer had spread onto his liver from unknown primary. Same as you, we had got married in the hospital, after we were told the diagnosis. We were engaged long before. 

There is no guidance, how to go through grief. All of us go through it differently. Time may eas the pain a little, but that will be a long process. 

Take little steps at a time. Focuse on your girls. They are now your purpose to live for. 

I haven't posted on this forum for very long time, bit do read tge threads. 

There is lots of amazing people here, who will give you comfort and uplift your spirit. Someone will alway reply to you.

Look after yourself and your little girls. It will not be an easy journey, but we have to carry on living. 

Sending you virtual hugs. 

Love

Andrea x

Oh my goodness Sammy I want to give you a big hug.

I'm horrified for you and your partner who was so young and the speed this awful illness took him.

You must be numb and this lockdown situation is making things if possible feel worse. Remembering our loved ones last days is very normal, personally I tried to shut down any thoughts of my husband's last days. He was so anxious and his face looked so haunted that I had to instantly find photos round the house of him looking happy and healthy, it then helped me to bring happy memories into focus rather than how he was at the end. 

How old are your children, they are a good reason to get up and keep us busy but are also exhausting and tend to add to our worry. 

I've just passed the 2nd Anniversary of my husband's passing, he was 47 and we were given 3 months from diagnosis to him passing, I wish he was here more than anything but me and our 3 children are surviving. It does get easier, but it's very early days for you. 

Please be kind to yourself.

Oh Sammy i am so sorry, every one here knows what you are feeling, does it get easier for some yes and others it takes a while.

It is early days for you and a young age to be going threw this and two young children as well.

For me it was one day at a time, it is seven months now, yes it is a bit easier for me but then it hits me and i have a melt down.

I think we just learn to put one foot in front of the other slow steps one at a time.

You will have so many emotions that at time s you wonder where they have come from, anger, sadness frustration guilt just to name a few i have even at times cursed him for leaving me like this, but i have to carry on while i do he will never die memories keep us going even bad ones , but the good out number the bad.

What with the lock down and having two young children to look after is extra hard, you have your hands full, but for them you will get threw this and your hubby  would want you to.

The group will support you all they can just have a moan rant let it all out, we have all been there.

Take Care Ellie 

I am so sorry for your loss such a young age and small children.My heart goes out to  you.

I dont post a lot on here but do read others which I find helps me. I hope you will find this site helps you.

Take care 

Mx

Thank u yes ur story like mine, thank u for messaging means a lot, sorry for your loss to, I no cancer is the worst xxx

thank u yes I’ve been reading peoples post it does help a tiny bit, I’ll try anything at this point xx

Thank u for ur msg, yes I no they will get me through it deep down, and this lockdown came straight after his funeral which has made it extra hard cause I need my mum an sister but can’t see them, I go through all them stages of feelings yes, it’s a crazy world the grief world, I keep reading posts saying u never get over it you learn to live with it, an I think that’s going to be true, I’m just still in shock I think that this has even happened to us, u read about stories and u just never think it’s gunna happen to u, cancer the life destroyer. 

The haunted face of cancer I no the face it haunts me now,ur husband was still young 47 all my love to u to, my children are 7 and 1 and a half, I try my best to block hospital memories away and most days I can then my bad days creep in like yesterday and today, I’m just so lost I feel so numb I want my mum an sister but can’t because of all this, the world seems to b moving on but I can’t seem to, I go bed wen I put the kids to bed still at the minute cause I just can’t seem to watch anything or sit down there on my own, I sit in bed on my phone instead, we found out day after my boys 1st birthday, how did your kids cope if you don’t mind me asking, my son won’t remember but my daughter is 7 and seems to b ok I think she’s abit young but I do worry about her xx

Oh goodness they are just babies.

Our children were 21, 18 and 12. Our son had his 18th in the hospice, all he wanted was for his Dad to still be here. 

Our 12 year old son with the help of the hospice staff made a memory box, he cut out things which reminded him of Dad, cars, scuba diving pictures and included words or sentences his Dad would say to him. I got the other 2 boxes and they have all choses a favourite tee shirt, jumper, pictures anything they want of their Dads. 

I went through my husband's phone, Facebook account and printed out any and all photos that he's in. I've printed out books of photos in stages of his life. I have a whole book from the hospice that I will never show anyone as he looks so sad but I look at them and have a big sob and it makes me so angry that he's not here and missing our future and the children's.

We went to counseling, the older kids went on their own, my daughter still goes now and again. I went with the youngest but he didn't find it useful. He said he can talk to me about Dad. All you can do is your best for your children, hug them and love them lots. 

Hi Sammy1987,

I'm giving you a big, tight hug. I'm sorry for your loss. I truly am. The world can move on but you don't have to. All you have to do now is to cry, be kind to yourself and to take care of your children. The images will haunt you for a while but the happier memories will comfort you and make you smile, even laugh. It will take time. Just hold on.