Wedding anniversay

Hi Ebony12

I’m so sorry to hear of your recent loss, my husband died 7 months ago. 

I haven’t had our Anniversary alone yet, so I can’t really help, but in my experience I find the anticipation of a memorable day has always been worse than the day itself.

The best advice I received was to do what I felt most comfortable doing and to be kind to myself. Friends and family will want to take your lead.

I hope you have a peaceful day x

Take care

Eleanor

HI ebony 12

We share a few things, My Bob passed away 14 weeks ago and it will be our anniversary on Thursday 30th and i'm dreading it. I have been through his Birthday without him and it hit me harder than I thought it would and I ended up curled up in a ball sobbing most of the day so i'm expecting Thursday to follow the same pattern so i'm expecting it and if this happens then I will go with it. On his Birthday I wrote him a Birthday card as I did on Valentines day and I will get him an anniversary card and write it as I would do if he was still here. Already I am beginning to feel my mood getting blacker and constantly on the verge of tears. I keep cuddling his ashes, talking to his photo and just begging for him to come back. It really is dreadful. Lockdown isn't helping as I am alone and if I could have my family around me at least it would keep me busy and slightly distracted.

So basically what i'm saying is I don't know how we will get through it but we will. Prepare yourself for this second wave of grief and if that involves a day in bed crying and reminissing then go with it.

I will be thinking of you and i'll let you know how Thursday goes for me. No one that hasn't experienced what we are going through will fully understand but I know people on this site will help and support and tell us their experiences and even some advice.

Love Sheila x

Hi ebony,

I would say do as you feel right for you at the time. I lost Ric on the 28th Dec, just five days after our 9th anniversary. So this will be my first Christmas, anniversary and year without him all at once!!! I am dreading it and don't yet know how I will deal with it. I wanted to book annual leave but I wasn't allowed yet because of we are being forced to take leave at the moment with the virus! My work colleagues have told me they will make sure I am.off! 

I have had Ric's first birthday without him and I did make his favourite cake. I also bought a ring called tie the knot from Samuals as it caught my eye in the window and it was a sort of present to him. He loved his birthday! My birthday will be strange with out him as he liked to make a fuss. 

Maybe he will send you a little sign to show you he is still there. But whatever you do be kind to yourself and have a relaxing day doing what you want to do. Remember him and cherish your day.

Love and hugs Alison xxx

Hi everyone,

thank you all so much for your support. 
yes, I agree that the anticipation leading up to the day is probably feeling worse than the day will be itself. 

Sheila, you will be in my thoughts on Thursday.

Alison, that’s a lovely idea about the ring and had gave me an idea of what I can buy him for our first anniversary. We both loved nature and conservation so I will get a tree planted through woodland trust for him, he will love that. Thank you 

 Thank you all for your advice, I’ve woke up feeling a bit better about it today and slept ok for the first time in weeks, might have something to do with my medication being upped but If so it is doing what was intended.

hope everyone has a good day and can tick off something positive about the day, I know I have already with your advice and support.

much love

Hi Everyone,

I too have my wedding anniversary next Tuesday and am dreading it. It would have been my 30th and we were so looking forward to celebrating. We thought it was quite an achievement these days.

When we found out Mark was terminal at end of November I used to joke "you'd better hang on til May, I want my pearls".  I never dreamt he'd be gone the next week and I'd be alone. I have bought myself a pearl charm bracelet, the charm is angel wings in the shape of a heart. As soon as I saw it it seemed so appropriate for my heavenly husband. 

It will be 20 weeks for me on Thursday, sometimes seems years, sometimes feels like yesterday. I am so up and down at the moment.

Sheila and Ebony I will be thinking of you both on Thursday/Sunday and hope your days are as good as they can be.

Ali x

That is a beautiful gift Ali. Xxx

Hi Ebony, I have seen those trees through the woodland trust and thought about it for Ric as he loved nature. I might do that later for our anniversary. It would be 10 years. 

It is a lovely idea. He will love it I am sure. I bet it will become the biggest tree in the wood. 

I hope the day goes ok 

Love and hugs Alison xxx

Hi Ali and Alison

that sounds like a lovely piece of jewellery. I will be thinking of you also.

when I’ve looked into dedicating a tree and the areas you can do it in, there’s a nature walk where we have been a few times so I think it’s meant to be ️

He loved nature and animals, last year when we went away for a few days he got some bird seed and had all the pigeons lined up on his arm and also squirrels eating out of his hand.He wasn’t so lucky at animal park where an ostrich req he’d over and bit his ear, a few coins in the swear box lol.

The doctor said in all his professional he has never had someone come in with an ostrich bite!

much love

Karen

Hi Karen

What a lovely story and a lovely memory. 

Love and hugs Alison xxx

Hi Sheila,

you have been in my thoughts today. I hope you got through today ok. 

sending hugs, love and strength to you.

karen xx