Privacy versus Facebook

Hi Smaggle

I am so very sorry to hear of your loss, your man was your everything & life will feel so unfair right now I know. I’m further down the line than you but I also suffered through some ill thought postings of Facebook when my husband died. It still makes me very angry to think about it. I do understand how you feel. 

One of his relatives announced his death on Facebook an hour after it had happened, giving my children (I have 3 that were all of school age) & l no chance to just be. To compound things further the post was all about how the relative had been at work so wasn’t there when it happened- despite not visiting for 6 months before & knowing his death was imminent with no intention to visit either, it was all about them....! 
Since then, my husband’s ashes have been interred as he wished & again said relative took a pic once the plaque was up (with all his details on) along with a bunch of flowers she had left there - & also put it on Facebook.
Oh the anger!! It felt like being violated.
It is only because she is younger than me (though older than my children & ought to know better!!) that I haven’t had it out with her. 

My children don’t want to see this relative (not on my side) & it is due to talking extensively with those adults that love me & more importantly not wanting to cause my elderly mother in law further distress that I have to let this go.

As you say of your man, my husband would hate this intrusion of his privacy,he was very private, a gentleman. He would also hate to see me & the kids hurt so much like this by someone simply “not thinking”. 
But I know that more than anything, he would not want any part of a falling out with his family, despite the wrongs of what’s happened. He was all about family & I loved him for it. 

Ive chosen to step away from facebook more now. It cannot hurt me like it did then..... the worst that could happen has already happened to us. 
Please don’t let your experience swallow you up in anger indefinitely, it is a pointless emotion that if unleashed just causes yet more damage. You have suffered enough. 

sending you love & courage for the days ahead, this lock down is making things so much harder for us all to bear 

Sarah xx

I'm so very sorry for your loss Smaggie

You have had no time to process any of this, I'm sure you feel very numb and shocked. The limitations of the coronavirus situation must be making an already difficult time seem impossible.

But you will get through all of this, slowly and taking the days hour by hour if you have to. Be kind to yourself and don't waste too much energy on things out of your control.

Myself and children were also in the same situation twice regarding an unfortunate Facebook post. My fantastic husband had 3 months with adrenal cancer and his sister put up a post very like has been mentioned. How was she going to cope, hoping for the best but not wishing to see her brother suffer!! Our eldest daughter asked the post to be removed. It was and she was apologetic.

Then in his final week again she posted, how she was waiting for the call to say his suffering was over!! I was livid. I told her to never post about her brave strong brother again. To think about me, and his children whos life would never be the same and stop being so selfish. 

Sadly our relationship wasn't a close one before my husband passed and since his passing 31 March 2018 I have not had one single message from her to see how we are, how his children are coping!

We continue to be the loving family my husband created and even though we miss him every day we are moving forward, growing, changing and living a different life without him.

Take care