It is more than 7 months since my Danny died and tonight I’m overwhelmed with grief and can’t stop crying. It feels as if all the love I carry for him just boiled over. I thought I’m doing OK, the isolation suits me well, don’t miss much of my external life, I work from home and I’m not bored, trying to fill in my days in solitude.
Except, I just miss HIM so much. I miss the little things, having him sitting in his chair playing guitar, arguing about TV programme, laughing at his jokes, asking me to massage his feet, cuddling in bed. I miss making him a cup of tea, I miss the coffee he used to make for me.
I wish this life wasn’t as cruel and the love was on tap so that I could selfishly spent it all by the time he’s gone. But it doesn’t work that way. The life has gone but my love still goes on, strong as ever. Sometimes I just don’t know what to do with it, and it hurts so much.
Love
Dalia
