Living after cancer

I'm so sorry to read about your loss. I hope you get some answers from the gp. I'm telling myself the same sort of thing that Colin is back in hospital and will be out soon. Wishful thinking! We're in such early stages of grief, shock and disbelief that these bad times have been some horrible nightmare. Sending you virtual hugs best wishes. Sandra

Hi to you both, 

It is early days and still a shock even if slightly expected! It will take time and lots of mixed emotions to deal with everything. I am up and down and I lost my husband at Christmas. I initially dealt with it well by keeping busy but now this covoid has slowed me down and work has changed! I couldn't scatter him when I wanted to (but that is nothing compared to what you are coping with with the funeral situation). We all deal with grief in different ways and I am sure the covoid situation is making it harder than ever. Be kind to yourselves. 

If you are.unhappy with the care, give yourself a few weeks and write to PALS. I am still angry about my husband's care and I haven't yet done so but I will in a couple of weeks ( I just don't want it lost with this covoid going on). I am a nurse and disgusted by the care and misdiagnosis! You are well within your right to complain. I promised my husband I would not let it go until we had an apology! 

I have to write a report for the inquest and it is not until late may but keep putting it off..

Take care, we are all here to listen. I hope you get a bit of what you need to say goodbye to your husband.

Love and hugs Alison xxx

the hospital were great it was his gp, for 4 months they told him his pains were stress and gas. Even when he said I’ve lost 3 stone in a month and a half they didn’t even send him for a ct scan. 4 different doctors not one touched his tummy when he said I feel like my insides are being squashed. 

Up until last night I’ve been ok. Looking at memories and feeling happy but now i am angry and I don’t think I can cope with out him  x

morning dandanrogers I'm truly sorry for the loss of your husband and send you a virtual hug and my warmest condolences to you at this time of sadness . Only god can see how our hearts are broke . .

It is still pals you complain to. Don't let it drop or you will never trust him and it will niggle. It may help your anger too.

Hope tonight is better xxx

That's shocking 4 different Dr's didn't examine him. Clearly going back with the same complaint plus the weightloss would've been an indicator there was something wrong! How many clues do they need? I hope you get an apology at the very least! I found after Colins first met sites came up after biopsies and confirmation it was cancer no one seemed to be interested in looking at how big they were, particularly the one under his arm (technical term 'axilla'). I wanted the Macmillan/district nurses to see what he had to put up with.  Nothing would change the outcome but I wanted them to know.  We will cope because we're made if strong stuff, it will just take a while.

Sending hugs (((0))) 

Sandra x

I understand how you feel DanDan as my Angel Belles many doctors did not pick up her Leukaemia until it was to late. I watched her just waste away and noticed her weight loss many months before she was diagnosed. She had fought off 2 types of cancer in the 17years we were together. Like others I will be putting in complaints about her GPs and the hospital staff that turned me away just hours before she passed away, I missed her by 3 minutes. Like others I am waiting for this covid-19 to pass before I start.

Please try not to get too down and understand that grieving can be horrible, there will be some dark moments, times when you just start crying for no reason and that we all go through our own process but its part of the process. The one thing I've found is that now after 6 months, the good vibes are well out weighing the bad.