Feeling like I am going crazy!

Hi there no job is worth it if you feel it is beyond your capability at the moment I'm sure if your other half was still here it might be different but it's hard enough with the stress of bereavement let alone having to go through it all over again perhaps many times maby if you had a word with supervisor it might help best of luck 

Hi Alison 

I have been thinking of you last couple of days particularly as I’m back at work & have been redeployed to - you’ve guessed it, oncology. Normally I’m clinical.  I’m doing more of the admin side but it’s still distressing to hear consultants say they would normally be suggesting treatments & due to covid threat they are no longer suitable for people...& it does bring a lot of feelings & memories to the surface too. 

To be brutally honest, if a manager can’t empathise with what  you’ve been through, even in this current situation, & they cannot/will not try to find something more suitable for you than end of life care then I would ask your Gp to sign you off sick.... not ideal but you need to protect your own mental health here too. You don’t need to be put through the wringer again, If you feel it’s too much, then it is too much. 

The situation is rapidly changing so I guess you could be asked to do something else anyway as well....could you do any phone follow ups or consultations or is it all Inpatients? I really do feel for you - we are doing all kind of things- covid mask fitters, feeding buddies, even security for end of life care but I don’t think you should be made to cope with more than you can bear. 

sending you strength, courage & big hugs 

Sarah xx

hi Alison I'm so sorry for the loss of your man and soulmate my heart goes out to you at this time . I hope you had okay day today and can relax tonight I do feel your pain . Sending you virtual hugs .

Hi Alison,

I am sorry hear about your loss and the position you find yourself at the moment. It is tough all round!

I am inclined to agree with Sarah. Please take care of yourself; it's only been a few months and that really is no time at all. 

Sending you a big virtual hug and hope that you make a decision that is right for you.

With lots of love,

Dutsie Xx

Hi Sarah,

Thank you. I am glad you are feeling better. There is not really anywhere else to be redeployed to because it is private healthcare normally so we have all been put on the wards and it is all we are doing at present! 

Managers are starting to get stressy especially with anyone who says anything! I can't get signed off as I would only be paid a week as not been there much more than 6 months! 

My colleagues are good. I am trying to put it out of my mind and hopefully I can give these people a better experience than we had. They are trying to protect me. The patients are lovely and some have said I have made it easier for them! I haven't said why but one lady sussed me out! 

How did we end up being redeployed like this, perhaps our loved ones know we can make a difference! 

Today was ok but tensions are high for lots of reasons! 

I have a few days off now.

Love and hugs Alison xxx

Thank you Dulcie. I do try to battle on!!!

Love Alison xxx

Hi all 

been reading all the posts have not said lot new people  join group every day sorry for your loss   Some of us are doing really just plodding on keeping busy.  I’ve been back at work for a couple of days  been busy  but sometimes think I should have stay in bed hidden under the quilt these day find it hard to get out of bed at weekends it worse just put a brave face on during the week 

long weekend this weekend it’s worse I can’t keep busy all weekend sat watching tv the other day started crying again I hate life sometimes just want my wife back  and how my life was like we all would  just needed a rant get very down at weekends 

take care 

Martin 

Good to see you Martin

You wonk where we all are when you fill a bit down, we all get those day's i am afraid.

I must say i have been busy for the last  6 days have not stopped,, learning gardening and cleaning window;s also a conservatory  that was hard going Tom always done it, but i did it and i was so pleased.

I must say mentally i have felt so much like my self, perhaps because i have not been thinking to much, had to concentrate on the jobs i was doing.

Think the nice.weather has made a difference does lift your spirit at times.

Tomorrow is another day one day at a time and that is the way forward.

Take Care Ellie xx

Hi Ellie 

yes you are right when we are all busy and  concentrating at doing stuff at home or work  it take my mind of every thing then I feel guilty because I’m doing okay still not good at cooking tho and the weather helps I can work on my one arm tan while I’m driving lol 

I know one day at a time Ellie thank you 

take care 

Martin x