Overwhelmed again

Good morning MABELMUM AND ALL, 

Yes, that is true. Many people advise us to keep busy, but they haven't got a clue. Sometimes it does take the mind away, but sometimes it doesn't. The problem is, that the drive and purpose to do things for our loved ones are gone. Often I feel, what's the purpose? As a friend of mine says, who will see it? This is not just about keeping ourselves busy. To find the motivation is the most difficult part. And when I do keep busy, its lacking enthusiasm.

And you are absolutely right. When we stop, its like running into a brick wall. 

I hope, we all have a better day today. 

Take care All. 

Love

Andrea xxx

Morning Andrea, 

'Keeping busy' I fully agree with your sentiments.Today for the first time since Anne passed I'm fishing with my son. He stayed over night at the river so I'll meet him there. I just couldn't bare to spend the night with him. To many memories of Anne's lovely packed lunches and the sausages she used to select so carefully for us to cook. Then there would have been the phone called at 7pm in the evening to check she was OK and to say good night. I can't ever see myself night fishing ever again.So yes I'll 'be busy' for the day but coming back home will cause me heart break. My darling won't be there to say " Hello love. Did you catch anything? " Instead it will be the same silent house that's lost all its Spirit and I know I'll start crying as once again I'll be aware that I'm back to square one again. Keeping busy wouldn't have solved anything.

Love and Light 

Geoff x

Hi Geoff 

enjoy your fishing today with your son  what you say is right  I never do nite fishing but with my wife would come with me catch more fish than me and we use to go on a fishing holiday together you  go out for the day come home and it’s silent I work all week I come and think keep myself busy does not work somedays think I can’t keep going on  people say chin up you got keep going. It will get better does not feel like it 

Martin x

Hi Geoff

ive just experienced everything you said. I went out yesterday with friends so a Cheltenham race day that bob and I loved. Had a lovely couple of hours but then walking home alone when we always walked everywhere holding hand hit me like a slap in the face. Going into empty house I ate meal for one then all the junk I could put my hands on then fell asleep on the sofa and today I feel right back to square one. Very low and tearful so a couple hours of nearly normal has set me back and I feel dreadful. Worse I’ve felt since I lost my bob 8 weeks ago. 

god this is relentless and I’m struggling to do it!!!!!!

Sheila x

Hi Andrea 

sometimes do you feel like you are going mad trying to keep busy then you stop and the lonely stuff starts and you can’t start again you don’t like eating doing anything then give up I know the feeling about hitting the brick wall

Martin x

Hi Sheila 

try and have a good day. It’s been two and a half months for me  I know how you how you feel I’ve been down most of the week my wife’s birthday next week would be 52 

 I know it’s hard to go on but everybody tells me are partners would not want us to do  nothing stupid even I could finish it some days. 

martin x

Hi all , I feel exactly the same as all of you. I try to keep busy , have just cleaned the kitchen sink and oven and cooker. When I used to do it before Winnie would always have a cup of coffee ready when I finished. I had to make my own coffee and now sitting here on my own drinking it , tears aren’t far away. Like someone said what’s the bloody point. We are just surviving not living. 
Geoff hope you enjoy the fishing, I know it won’t be the same. But hopefully you get a little enjoyment out of it. 
Take care all. 
Mike. 

I so wish we all didn’t feel like this it’s so bloody hard to find enjoyment in anything and if you do for a while I don’t know about you but I then feel guilty. Really struggling today and I don’t know why. Possibly because I actually had a few drinks with friends yesterday and I think alcohol makes you more depressed but whatever it is I feel very tearful. Got all my kids and grandchildren about to descend on me so no time to cry with 5 babies in the house.

it helps knowing there are friends like you listening and feeling the same just wish we didn’t have to post on this site. I suppose we are doing this even if it’s one step forward and 2 back. One day I might be able to post “ had a good day” but can’t see it happening any time soon.

Sheila

Hi Sheila I can go through the week so so but sat I'm in tears I go to my wifes little garden at cremotrium 9months and I still can't go there and not cry 

Hope your day is a little better

Hi Sheila 

Reading what you said it hit me that it could have been written by me. That’s exactly how I feel it’s been 7 weeks for me now and the empty house and the quiet it the worse. I just went to Costco first time on my own just walked round in a trance fighting back tears. I think that’s why I turn down invitations to go out, apart from feeling guilty about having a good time I hate coming back to a empty house.