Positive achievements in our darkest journey

Hi Geoff 

your post made me laugh. My days get me down but you put a smile on my face I know the feeling cook it then don’t want to eat 

do you get frozen or fresh ready meals  I found fresh from some shops are better the frozen Chinese meal from Iceland are okay  fish and chips on Friday are good 

Martin 

Dear Djaxster

WELL DONE  I'm an old wild camper and I know hard it can be to get a fire burning when the odds are against you. 

Love and Light 

Geoff 

Hi Martin 

I get the best fridge presented  ready meals from Sainsburys but I never turn down a bargain from Tescos or Lidl. I buy in bulk then freeze them so I have at least a two week supply, topping up as I go. I've eaten home frozen ready meals after two months from freezing and they tasted good. That way you don't have to worry about the use by date on the packet.

Loveland Light 

Geoff 

Hi Pam,

Oh I wish you good luck with your William. It's interesting: I too have recently been thinking about getting a cat. It would be so lovely. But I know that I am not one hundred percent decided yet as to why I haven't done anything about it yet.

As to coming home to an empty house, I have to say that there are days when I like it. There is so much going on outside, so much going on with my clients and colleagues, so much time I spend with friends, that sometimes I feel coming home to my house, which still feels like my and Paul's save haven, is just beautiful. But I still get what you are saying, sometimes it feels lonely to me too.

Sheila, that's a very good idea. Let's talk about what we have found helpful, what we have found got us through some of our darkest days and what hopefully others will find helpful too.

At the moment I don't have much to contribute to this threat other than that, yesterday, a friend of mine said to me about clarifying the space you live in with sage. I used to do this all the time years ago, long before I met Paul. I have always loved those "wichy things" as I would call them, many of those things come from Pagan cultures and beliefs.

So I bought sage sticks in my local angel shop. Together with my friend I burned the sage, wondering from room to room, saying out loud "I ask the energies of love, light, joy and healing to come to this house now."

Those energies were very much here when Paul was still here but somehow, over the months and with only myself here, the energy seemed to have changed. With windows and doors wide open, energies seemed to go out and be transformed.

And, even though I know this may sound slightly crazy to some of you, I really feel that the energy has changed in the house, it feels back to what it was when we bought it, but, at the same time, it is now more my energy, my energy carrying forward what Paul and I created together as Paul has become a part of me, everything I do I do because of him and with him in my heart and my whole being.

It was a brilliant experience and I can see myself doing this on every Full Moon from now on or even more often.

Love, Mel.

Hi Mel, thank you for thinking of me and giving me support re William., I'm glad you used the sage, it's something I have also thought of to cleanse the sad energy ,  to signal the new beginning we didn't want but have to accept and try to embrace.. I hope to treasure my love for Ken and my memories, but allow my hold on my grief  to loosen in time. It's one step forward and 2 steps back someday, as I don't have friends, but I try xx

Hi Mel,

tell me more about this sage, is it not dangerous? Do the burning leaves not drop off and burn the carpet? We were always Bob and Sheila and now I don’t even feel like Sheila. I feel a shell of myself. I’m trying to get some structure back into my life and keep busy and the gym and running is filling the empty ness. I’m trying to keep on top of running the house alone now so doing the work of 2 people as we shared all the chores. No idea how I will manage the garden but will have to try when the weather improves. I am now responsible for paying the mortgage and bills on one salary which scares me as we never planned or prepared for his early death. Hindsight would have been a wonderful thing.

God this is so bloody hard isn’t it everyone but we are all doing it in our own way.

sheila x

It’s incense sticks, white sage cleanse the house of negative energies and welcome positivity and love.

it smells wonderful too. You can also douse the house with salt water, carry a candle when doing so and let the candle burn out itself. 

I also have various Chrystals around the house. You can get chrystals to help with all sorts and I also wear a chakra bracelet as did my husband. It helped with positivity but you have to believe in their powers.

lots of i formation about the benefits of all theses mentioned, I have a lot of books around this and balancing chakras.

much love

Hi Martin I lost my hubby 6 months ago yesterday and some days not to bad others I really struggle ..my hubby was a great fisher man I some times went with him ..he did all kinds and has a massive amount of stuff ...the last few weeks I am trying to sort it out into some kind off order ..gave a good amount away but still left with lots 

I keep asking his photos way you had so much and did he realise the amount every birthday Christmas etc for last 50 was spent on fishing gear ...I break down sometimes and others times it gives me great confort and look at a rod etc and can mind him or I useing it and have a good laugh 

think he did it new it would keep me busy sorting it all out if you know what I mean 

Hi Sheila,

The sage comes in long bundles of incense. You light the whole thing and then blow it out so that there is no flame but only the smoke coming from it. And then you go around your house, blow gently on the stick to increase the smoke, and think purifying thoughts or good intentions or just keep your mind still if you can. You go through all the rooms, mainly into the corners, but I actually do it everywhere, and then finish by my front door and blow the sage out completely or put it in a bowl until it goes out. You can also buy a kind of coal tablet and light that in a jarr and then put some sage leafs on top and let them burn. In that case you would leave the whole thing in one place though as the bowl can get reallyhot. I love doing this.

Yes, I know, all the things we have to do now without our partners and everything has become our responsibility. It is so hard isn't it? And especially the fact that we simply can't do those things together and have fun doing them. I am just trying my best to do them all on my own and I think I have gotten used to having to do it. But that doesn't mean that I enjoy it all. I often feel that I have just learned to accept that it is what it is and the question of whether it makes me happy or not does not even arise, if you know, what I mean, a little bit as if I were numb. But then, more and more, there are also things again that make me happy, that interest me, that spark my wish to live - like this thing with the incense which I didn't do for years or meeting friends or things like that.

Love, Mel.