Lost

Hi sheila

Its real early days for you but every one here really does understand how you are feeling.

I did not eat, could not sleep even though i wanted to, the mind just kicked in, but things are getting a bit better i sleep and have started cooking.

My adult children tried to smother me by always being here but i wanted and needed to be on my own at time. and i told them this and they stepped back, i had to cope some time being on my own and i have done it, do not like it because hubby is not here,but i talk to him a lot.

Tell him what i am doing, tell him going shopping or doing one of his jobs like putting bins out.

He always used to look in the mirror and say what a handsom B.....d he was i told him the mirror lies, ow i say it when i look at a photo and laugh.

Shelia its one day at a time,don't  beat your self up over anything. Cry when you want to, scream, ,rant, its all part of it.

This group is a life saver, its the fourth group.my hubby had gullet cancer i joined that, i have lung cancer i joined that also the incurables and now this each and every group has saved my sanity. Tomorrow is another day and you will get threw.

Thank you everyone. Tonight I attempted to cook a meal from scratch which the family find hilarious as I can’t cook nut chicken in a bag and microwave veg counts as “from scratch” I ate it first real meal since bob died but then I felt guilty for eating normal and had an hour of sobbing- that’s not normal is it? Do I just leave everything where my husband left it even his glasses are by the bed and I keep tripping over the shoes that he left out. It’s the emptiness and future together that we’ve lost! I am happy to be on my own at nights I don’t want to be smothered and if I want to cry I can but want the distraction in the day. I’m back at work Monday don’t know how that will go but I have a mortgage and bills to pay so needs must and that scares me,

Dear ellie68

OMG some people are so tactless at times the mind boggles. Just who are these people and what planet do they come from?  Human nature never seems to amaze me and I was a Police Officer for 30yrs.

Love and Light 

Geoff

Shelia

There is no rule book, my hubby laid his hat on table its still there, his glasses are still on coffee table.

There are certain things i will never get rid of.

Going back to work would be a  challenge but it might be a benefit as well, as it helps to occupy the mind and the mind is a terrible thing at times i need a switch off button.

I know my hubby would be saying you can do this and once i have done something that i have never done before like last week had to get the buildings insurance i came in to where his ashes are and put hand on box and said hope your proud of me.,as he always done it, we surprise ourselves some times.

You will gain a lot from this group i did.

Take Care Ellie xx

"You Never Walk A Lone"

Sorry my last post was for AliG55. 

Love and Light 

Geoff

Geoff

Sorry not sure what you mean

Ellie xx

OK LOL 

Dear sheila,

Your cooking from scratch sounds like mine LOL. I did fish from the freezer and roasted veg already in a tray! But it tasted good and better than some of the things I've had.

I was also dreading going back to work and although it's hard and exhausting having to be cheerful all day, I did actually feel a bit like my old self. I've been off this week and it's been terrible, feel as if I've gone backwards, crying and spending far too much time in bed. I think it gives you a routine too.

Hope it goes ok for you, I'm sure it will.

Love and hugs Ali x

Hi everybody. I have also had some unbelievable comments. When my first husband died a so called friend came up to me and said, I don't know how you cope, Will and I have never been so happy. Will is her husband. When she heard about kens pancreatic cancer she said You're  not having much luck are you. On both occasions they were the only comments, no I'm so sorry, can I help? That was it, zero sympathy, just an I'm glad I'm not you. 

Hi I mind not long after I lost my hubby went to a good friend house for supper there was 3of us and one of the girls kept saying to me you must of knowing how ill he was...you must of knowing he was going to die soon ...I go over that a lot as mybe I did not want to realise this was happening so fast but my husband kept a lot to hisself realise it so much now ..day befor he was taken into hospital he hung out some washing and washed a few breakfast dishes up ..as I had to go out early ...I feel so lost without him miss him so much .also my Dad died 5weeks befor hubby he had Alzheimer's and folk just seem to think because he had that and did not really know how I was I would note that upset ...but my Dad new I was someone special to him .and he was very much still my Dad x