Feeling very anxious about my husbands funeral

Hi Rachel sorry for your loss this site is helpful as we are all going through the same it is very hard but eat a little sleep a little and just day by day rant rave on here as we all have at some time you will not be judged

morning Rachel,

So sorry for your loss.A lot of folk on here are very new to widowhood and we all agree that it is the hardest thing we have ever come across. My dr said he wished he could press a button and make it all better.. omg how I wish that to. 

I have found being on this forum comforting...i have found reading similar stories helpful. it is good to talk to people who totally understand every waking thought you may be having. Friends and family are obviously valuable but the power of talking to someone who has been or is there is insurmountable.

Tuesday will be so hard. I called my partners 'her day' I couldn't even say the other word. No words really help with that day...just try to eat a little purely for your body needing fuel to help u get through the day. 

You are in all of our thoughts 

sandra

morning Rachel I'm so sorry about your husband s passing life is so cruel my girlfriend passed January 24 2019 my life changed forever that day her funeral was 4th Feb 2019 . Its just so sad I wish I could wave a magic wand and heal my broken heart and everyone that has to go through this awful experience ,I'm so sorry Rachel deep breaths and my thoughts are with you x

Hi Rachel,I'm so sorry for your loss. My husbands funeral was on 15th January. I was dreading it because of family circumstances. I was afraid certain people would show up and afraid others would not. I worried whether we had enough of a eulogy to fill the allotted time. I was scared that I could not cope. It went smoothly in the end, as I'm sure next Tuesday will. Have faith that you will get through it. It is a day when you also are important and a day when what you want to happen should happen. I thought it would be never ending, but in reality it went quite quickly. Wishing you a more peaceful evening, we are thinking of you, Pam xx

Everything you're feeling is so normal. My husband died 20 Dec. 2018. I'm now 51. Life ahead is unimaginable. One day at a time, though. The funeral will go well. You will find the strength to get through the day and you will honour him. You'll find the support you need.

Will be thinking of you and wishing you the best.

Dear Rax,

Was it your husband's funeral today? Wasn't sure if today or next Tuesday. If it was I hope it went well and your eulogy celebrated the life and love you shared.

Someone once told me they wished they could go back and replay it as it went by in a blur 

I can fully understand that now as I never turned round at my husbands funeral and i was told afterwards that there were so many people they had to stand.

It's amazing where the strength comes from to get through it but it somehow does.

Sending you love and good wishes. Ali x

Hi Ali

Thank you for those words, it was on Tuesday and I was so anxious, there were 3 accidents on the motorway so everything gridlocked which added to the stress and my husband did manage to be late for his own funeral, but it was lovely (if that can be a descriptor of a funeral) .

We went the scenic route to the crematorium and passed lots of sites that my husband and I held dear and the sun shone on him all the way. We wore bright colours to celebrate his life and I had many dear friends and family to hold me up.  I didn’t read anything as it was too much, but wonderful words were said and I thank our friends for that as it is a very hard thing to do.

It makes me realise how lucky we were to have such love in our lives. I still feel my husband is with me so am living each day as it comes and tentatively waiting for the realisation to set in.

If I want to cry I do so as it makes me feel better and so on. It’s hard and my journey will be the toughest thing I have ever had to face, but I am going to try and live my best life x x 

I am glad that it went as ok as such a thing can. We had road works on the day of my husband's funeral on 15 January  andhad to go the scenic route too and also went past lovely places to both my first husband and Ric and it was sunny too! It was like they were looking down on us together! 

The tears do become less often, I cried a lot before but it is getting less often! Just the silly and unexpected  thing upsetting me now. Xxx

Hello Rax Glad it went as well as it did. I'm sure you did him well. Now comes the really hard part learning to live without them. 

When I read of the hearse going to the funeral with people following in cars it always makes me glad that isn't how it's done where I am, although if you asked they'd do it I suppose. 

Take care.

While the thread might be from a few years ago, the emotions and experiences shared in it are still valid and relevant. Coping with the loss of a loved one, especially a spouse, is a deeply personal and ongoing journey. The feelings of anxiety, grief, and uncertainty described in the post are common reactions to such a significant loss.