Total Feeling Of Emptiness & Numbness

Oh John

I am so so sorry for your loss of Tina, she looks lovely and was obviously your rock. Nothing I say is going to make anything better/easier. But I am sure I am not the only one on here that will reach out to you and hope you are able to one foot in front of the other over the next couple of weeks. Keep hold of your glorious memories of Tina.

Chris, Thank you. It's gonna be Baby Steps for a long time. She was mine for over half of my life.

God Bless You

John

Dear John, 

I am ever so sorry about the loss of your beloved wife Tina. We know, how you feel right now as we all are going through the same terrible road. There is not much I can say to sooth your broken heart, but joining this group will give you a kind of comfort, because people here listen, understand and don't judge. Someone will always respond to you and you will find it comforting, that you are not alone in this boat. 

Today it is exactly 5 months, since I lost my dearest husband to terminal secondary liver cancer. He died 16 days, after he was diagnosed. His departure was a massive shock as we thought, he was a very healthy man. 

Yes, coming into an empty, cold house is awful. Even after so many month it hurts. Shopping is no longer a joy. I just grab, what I need and fly out the shop not walking arround like used to, thinking, what for as I don't need anything. 

I wish, I could say something optimistic, but we have to go through the grief's all stages.

You have sons, who will support you. Accept any help, you are offered. Cry, when you feel, you need to. Don't hold your emotions back.

I hope, you get through Christmas the best you can. Look after yourself. Eat, drink and get as much as sleep as you can. Don't expect much from yourself. Be kind to yourself.

Andrea xx

Dear John, so sorry to hear of your loss, you have done the right thing joining the group, we all have similar experiences and feel the same way.

This site is so good you can tell your story you can express how you feel and know that we all understand, whilst we can offer ways that work for us to help deal with the grief you will work out yourself how best to manage what is a massive shock in your life.

I lost My wife Amanda to pancreatic cancer it will be 5 months on Christmas day. I too nursed her did her meds and looked after her every need from before her diagnosis to her loss. I take great comfort knowing I did everything I could for her and it's something you too can be proud of. We only had 3.5 months from diagnosis, chemo was not really an option for us so we declined, a few weeks extra life for months of chemo didn't seem worth the loss of being able to do things.

It's a terrible feeling of loss of emptiness, we knew each other for 50 year's hardly a day apart, like others I can't offer you it's going to get better so far for me it's not, but look after yourself eat well and try to sleep, above all let your emotions out, I try to put on s brave face but when alone in the house I regularly break down in tears I wake up most days with wet eyes it's something you need to do to let out your feelings. Lean on your family and keep them around you, they can be your greatest comfort. I was so distraught just after and my youngest grandson was my saviour he stayed with me and somehow that helped.

You will have bad days come on here and vent your feelings we all do it and I find it helps.

Take care John hope things will be as good as they can for you.

Gary

Dear Andrea. Thank you for your kind message. It is hard isn't it. I just cant seem to grasp reality at the moment. Supermarkets are a nightmare. Then you bump into people who you know who bring it all back up. I am just trying to fill my days and I leave the radio on now so when I come home there is noise and when I go to sleep. 

God Bless You and Keep Strong

John

Hi Billythedog. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your wife , it is only a few days ago so your mind still must be in a complete fog . My wife of 43 years past away just over 5 months ago and it still seems so unbearable. She had melanoma after the first year she got the all clear but came back in January, and in June it had spread to her brain, she had radiotherapy and came home on 19 June, out 43 wedding anniversary, I nursed her at home for the next month but she passed away on 15 July.

i still hate coming home to an empty cold house . When I go shopping I get in and out as quick as possible, and like you I was buying things I didn’t need . It is so hard trying to live on your own after being with someone for so long . 

Try and sleep when you can and eat when you can even if it is only cake or chocolate, your motivation to do anything will be completely gone but that does come back slowly. I still get days I don’t want to do anything and just lye on the couch and rest. I wish I could say it gets easier but at the moment I can’t. Stick with this group and you will get great support and comfort. I won’t bother saying hope you have a good Xmas, but try and get through as best as you can. It is only one day and will soon pass. 

Lovely picture of your wife , I am sure she is looking down at you and giving you strength. Take care. Mike 

Thank You Gary. I will take baby steps for now but its still too raw at the moment. Xmas day will be hard so I'm getting out of the house and going for a walk.

God Bless You

John

Hi John sorry for your loss six months on and I'm dreading Christmas just been to crematorium to see wife's bird box and it hit me so hard it was just like the beginning again but we have no choice but know you are not alone stay strong and between us all we will get through this

My heartfelt condolences. My husband died of small cell lung cancer a year ago - 20/12 and lived for another 13 months after diagnosis. I know what you went through and what you're going through. We'd known each other for 24 years and married for 22 1/2 years. So many similarities. You'll get through this, as hard as it is to believe now. Use this forum as often as you need to. Everyone here helped me and is still helping me. No-one will lie to you - this is hard. Remember all the love you and your wife shared and always feel free to express what you need to here.

I'm sending you hugs, wishing I could take away some of your pain and sense of loss.

Ian, so sorry for your loss. We are all in the same boat. We say to our ladies stop nagging, but when there is no more it's awful. I miss her voice, it's just too quiet.

God Bless Pal

John