Christmas

Hi Andrea I am the same no decoration's up just can't pluck up the courage to do it it must be the time of year I'm in tears most days or fighting it off if you can't put them up just leave it maby next year it's no good beating yourself up over it   hope your day is not to bad 

Hi Ian,

I am in tiers too. Just don't know, what to do. I've got one more week at work before the company breaks up for holiday untill next year. Dreading of that time.

I am joining your no decorations club. My husband died 6 weeks ago and I think I will never stop crying. It was our wedding anniversary yesterday. I hate this and miss him so much. 

Same here 24th dinner time for 10 days don't know what I will be doing not looking forward to trying fill in the days

Hi Owl58,

I am very sorry, you also had to join this group. But on the other end, this is the best thing you could have done so far. We all are in a same boat that is floating at sea filled with tiers. The Christmas is going to be very hard time for us. Some of us may join their families, some of us choose to spend this time alone and some of us will have to be alone, because they have no one.

All I can think of, is my beloved husband and still unable to come to terms, that he will never be back.

Last time, I had a dreadful Christmas, was in 1988, when I lost my dad of 45 and grandad at same time, both just before Christmas. 

I hope, we all get through this period somehow. I know, most of us wish, the Christmas was over the sooner the better. 

Love to you All. 

Andrea xx

Thank you Andrea. I will spend Christmas with my parents. My mum has Alzheimer’s and will ask me several times in an hour where my husband is and I will have to explain over and over and deal with her fresh grief each time. I will be glad when it’s over.  Life can be so cruel and I hope I have the strength to cope. Take care of yourself. Nothing lasts forever. 

No Christmas decorations for me neither. It's been 3 months since I lost my husband. I'll spend this festive period with my mum and brother but to be honest  I would rather stay at home alone. 

I feel that sometimes this grief makes me so very selfish, it completely absorbs me to the point that I forget that my mum is getting older and who knows how long have I got left with her. She is so loving,caring, absolutely lovely, the best. 3 months ago my world collapsed, I lost myself and stopped being a daughter I used to be. I hate myself for it. I can't imagine how would I cope if something happens to her too. Yet, I was avoidant, sometimes rude, short tempered, even forgot about a very important neurologist's appointment she had. She put up with all my mood swings, she understands how hard this is for me and she is very much looking forward to seeing me for Christmas. All she wants is to shower me with love, care for me and feed me.That's what mums do and I feel very guilty about  the fact that I would still rather stay at home alone. I have to pick myself up, make an effort and show her that although my grief and pain make me a bit crazy at times, I love her and I need her just the same. 

Dalia xx

Hi, 

I would have forgotten about Christmas but two of our  sons live at home and our youngest was adamant that we have a tree and put it up ASAP. We did last year as Jerry was so ill, with neutropenia we were  not sure if he would pull through. So we have a massive tree lots of light new decorations as well as old. Somehow it’s helping us to grieve together. I have said no Christmas cards and I won’t be sending any. I will make a donation in his name to the hospice. I have got some I can’t bear to open them I will in the new year and explain to those that don’t know.  I’m sure he would have been happy whatever we chose. Xxx

Hi Dalia, 

You are not being rude nor selfish. If we act like that, its all part of the grief. You are a grieving person and your mum understands. Be kind to yourself. You are doing your best.

My mum lives abroad. She is 76. I would love to go and see her, but the plane tickets are expensive at this time of the year. I have to leave it till after Christmas.

Love

Andrea xxx

Hi puddlefish, 

I have only sent Xmas cards to my mum, sister and brother. They all live abroad. I signed the cards in my husbands name too and put a little cross next to his name.