Dealing with grief

FormerMember over 4 years ago

12 replies
29 subscribers
5630 views

Hi all ,

I've just lost my beautiful wife in October and I'm really struggling to cope with it , I'm just numb still today and cant motivate myself to do anything , I'm still in shock over this as its come out of the blue , my wife was diagnosed with throat cancer in 2010 and after having chemo and radiotherapy was given the all clear in 2016 , during this period there were lots of setbacks as a lot of people know this only to well and she was declared nil by mouth so ended up having the peg feed , things continued to go wrong but in the main we coped with her situation over the years she went down with asperating pneumonia but overcome this several times , this august thou she was diagnosed with pneumonia and went into hospital and came out a couple of days later only to go back in with same thing Sept 29 she seemed to be doing good only for me to get a phone call from hospital early hours in the morning but unfortunately when I arrived my wife had passed away, I was devastated and broken, what's really finished me is the coroner has now informed me my wife died of lung cancer and I cant absorb this , I've been to my gp for help but I've reached out to these and nothing has come back, I just found this site on Google so that's why I'm posting I'm just hoping so one can help me come to terms with my loss , sorry for long message .

Newb over 4 years ago

Hi sorry for your loss it is very hard to come to terms with what has happened but at least you have great support in this site it a painfull journey but being able the rant on here and always have someone to reply helps I found it very helpful hope you do to

Ian

FormerMember over 4 years ago

Dear Wolfie64

I am so very sorry for the loss of your wife, it is devastating when after such a battle they don't make it. My husband was diagnosed with bladder cancer in 2015 which he was so brave and got through the most awful chemo and then a 12 hour operation which amazingly they rebuild the bladder that they removed with his bowel tissue. This brought a whole new learning curve to how he functioned on a daily basis, but he did it with such determination and courage.

Unfortunately in Oct 2018 he was diagnosed with lung cancer (not related to the previous cancer), this time not so lucky as it was terminal. I had him for a further 6 months but sadly he passed in March 2019.

The worst is that he fought so hard and came through it and I could not believe that it would hit him again, he was cheated. Why did we go through all of that only to loose in the end and was it worth it. I know it was because we had four extra years of love and laughter. I hope you can also hang onto those extra years you both had together, even thought it was such a struggle.

Before Cancer, we had an amazing life, filled with so many high and hardly any lows, which is what I hold onto. Hope you can also do the same.

In my thoughts

xxx

More from this forum

Dealing with grief