Hiding how it is from the world!!!

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21 months since my partner passed & I’ve reached a total stalemate.

I’ve so much to still sort out after his passing (business as well as personal items), but seem to have lost the ability to do/decide anything. Social media/rubbish TV and curled in a chair fills my day while my life/house/garden goes to rack and ruin. I’d hate it if I’d an unexpected visitor!!!

To friends and family I seem fine & getting on with life (gym, walking, socialising)...they’ve no clue what my days are really like, or how alone I feel.

Is this it now...??? Will it pass...??? How do I adjust to it being “just me”...???

  • Hi Dutsie,

    I’m encouraged by your wish to find a different kind of happiness. I would hope for the same for myself.

    I too find yoga helpful, but it took me many months for my mind to be still enough to go back to class. I’m glad I did though & would mirror Dutsie’s comments about considering Tai Chi again Geoff.

    I was listening to a podcast last night which was talking about significant life changes & their effect. It made the point that everyone has the same negative emotions around significant change/loss and when you are alone they are at their worst. But, by calming our minds (they suggested meditation) and engaging with the negative emotions (which is what this community allows us to do), improvements in mood can be achieved.

    I know from my point of view I was at a real low point (probably my lowest point in my whole grief journey) at the start of this week. This community are the only people I’ve told that to & it’s been so helpful to get your support a read all your comments. I’ve reached the end of the week in a much better place than I started.

    Thanks everyone

    -D.

    There’s usually a positive to be found in every negative situation...sometimes it takes a while to find though!

  • Hi Dutsie,

    I’m encouraged by your wish to find a different kind of happiness. I would hope for the same for myself.

    I too find yoga helpful, but it took me many months for my mind to be still enough to go back to class. I’m glad I did though & would mirror Dutsie’s comments about considering Tai Chi again Geoff.

    I was listening to a podcast last night which was talking about significant life changes & their effect. It made the point that everyone has the same negative emotions around significant change/loss and when you are alone they are at their worst. But, by calming our minds (they suggested meditation) and engaging with the negative emotions (which is what this community allows us to do), improvements in mood can be achieved.

    I know from my point of view I was at a real low point (probably my lowest point in my whole grief journey) at the start of this week. This community are the only people I’ve told that to & it’s been so helpful to get your support a read all your comments. I’ve reached the end of the week in a much better place than I started.

    Thanks everyone

    -D.

    There’s usually a positive to be found in every negative situation...sometimes it takes a while to find though!