Hello everyone.
I lost my wife of 50yrs - the love of my life - approaching 3 months ago. Although the early highly emotional and gripping grief attacks have subsided: replaced by the occasion teary moments; yet something else has overwhelmed them. I've lost the spark for life. I see the bird feeder empty and the birds looking for food and I feel ' I can't be bothered to fill it. Maybe tomorrow? Maybe later?.' I used to be inspired by credible reported accounts and YouTube videos on Spiritual matters from folk who were clearly not con merchants like Doctors, surgeons and paliative nurses - and I feel nothing. I simply observe. I can socialise again and laugh along with the crowd and then walk through the front door of our house and say affectionately to my dear Anne's photo " Hello love I'm home.' then do what has to be done. I'm not suffering from depression or anxiety- far from the truth. I'm just acting out a role in life like a puppet that's having its strings pulled by who I imagine is the Producer/ Director of this theatrical production called life. The old Geoff has gone. As if the old Geoff passed away along with his beloved soul mate. The new Geoff isn't unhappy or even happy, he just IS. I strongly believe I'll be acting out this life role until its my turn to bow to the audience and fade out. And It matters not if its tomorrow or when ever. Like I said. The spark has gone.
Light and Love
Geoff
