Hi everyone.
As some of you maybe aware I'm a retired Met Police Officer. The only reason I state this is because when I joined in 1972 we all used alcohol after our shifts to unload the pressures of the day. If you've ever seen the series ' Ashes to ashes or Life on Mars ' you would see the police culture of drinking as it was then. It's important for me to say that nobody should follow my present path unless you've experienced a life in the armed forces or the police. In which case I'm teaching granny to suck eggs. I lost the love of my life nearly 11 weeks ago having been married for 50yrs. I'm coping because when I've had a drink I can go about the business of going through the house and dealing with the vast amount of bits and bobs my Anne had squirreled away but has no longer has any useful function to my existance. But her clothes will always remain. Always. Im certainly not trying to eradicate her loving existance in our house. Far from it. For me and many of my past colleagues -some still living into their 80's - using drink has become a way of life. I only know of one officer who became an alcoholic. He was my best friend and has sadly passed.
So why have I posted this ? I'm not really sure. Perhaps it was to offload? Perhaps it was to say I'm coping and dealing with my tragic loss in a way that works for me? I just dont want to end up a totally sober man who for goodness sake does'nt know how many years he would have to live with the constant pain of unbearable grief. I'll totally understand if I get no replies to this post. I mean - what could you say ? Just what could you say?
Love and Light
Geoff
