I know Im treading a dangerous path but at 74 I can live with it. Or maybe die from it?

20weeks now for me Geoff still get very bad day and ordinary days ordinary days meaning I can function but still get reduced to tears by the end of the days work driving home so no you are not alone .be strong 

Thanks Newb

My entire existance from the day I met and loved my Anne was to protect, love, and look after her which I was privileged to do right up until  I saw my twin soul take her last breath. From that last monent on I realised I had no furthet purpose in life. I survive because Nature/God has decreed that I  should. Why? I have no idea my good friend. I have a feeling you seem the same. I wish I had the courage to end it all but that would create a terrible burden on our two children who are caring for me the best they can. Bless them. So we soldier on Newb. Dealing with it all the best way we can until its our turn to pass over into the spirit domain and be reunited with our darling wives. Stay safe my friend. It's a rocky path we travel .

Love and Light

Geoff

Hi Geoff,

You are definitely in the right place to offload. I hope that you continue to post.

You are your own man and will deal with the grief you feel the best way you can.

I certainly wouldn't tell you how to live your life. 

Hope you have more good days than bad.

Take care.

Geoff, before I start to reply to you,maybe I should tell you that I drink and definitely too much.  My husband and I usually had a drink of an evening, but I think it has definitely escalated since he died.  I guess I drink to numb the pain,escape or fill the time, plus I enjoy a drink.  I am just wondering why you feel the need to tell us about it.  Are you wanting someone to tell you it is ok or what.  I think we all know we have to get through whatever way we can on this road, but you and I know this is not the best way.  Are you drinking more now than when in the Met?  Maybe think about what your wife would have wanted for you and I will try to do the same.  It’s just a crutch, but one maybe we should try to throw away.  Love Dolly xx

Hi likido

I just told it as it is my friend.  The same as you did. Quote:-  .  I guess I drink to numb the pain,escape or fill the time, plus I enjoy a drink.  What am I to say to that likido?  Nothing.  We all cope as we do. Stay safe.

Love and Light

Geoff.

Thanks for responding Beachwalker19. 

And thank you again for asking me to continue to post. I say it as it is. I don't moralise or judge. Neither do I ask loaded questions. I respect your reply my friend. Stay safe.

Love and Light 

Geoff.

Hi Geoff, I think you have to deal with it the best way you know how,And if having a drink helps why not,You were a couple for 50 years and suddenly you are alone like the rest of us,I think we all have our own way of getting through each day because I’m sure that’s what we are doing just getting through each day at a time,it’s just over a year for me Geoff and I’m still  struggling.I tried to go through some of Alan’s things but have given up and  apart from things that needed to go I have put everything back where they belong.and that’s where they are staying.Think this is a long and lonely road Geoff and don’t think any of us know how long it is...

Take care,Val

Does it even get any better I lost my hubby 3 weeks ago today still don't believe he will never walk back in through the door I met my hubby when I just turned 16 and we have been together 40 years and have a son just turned 17 ..in my head I still think he is in hospital ..this is the longest we have ever been apart ..I really would love a drink but I think if I start I would just carry on ..it's all so hard and I lost my Dad just 5 weeks befor hubby ..like you Geoff I tried to go into a drawer he kept a lot of things in but could not do it x

Small steps eat when you can like most of us on here microwave meals try to sleep one day at a time     you have my sympathy it's a hard road no one wanted to take

Thanks Val 

You hit the nail right on the head. I couldn't have put it better. I've only had the courage to take the bull by the horns when I've had a few beers. I knew it needed to be done but stone cold sober I'd have chickend out. Believe me all the treasured finds were kept. And as I mentioned earlier my Anne's clothes will remain forever in her wardrobe. I looked in there today and buried my head in her clothes just trying to connect with my sweetheart who is more than sadly missed. She is tragically missed. This evening I was washing up and standing at the kitchen window. There was thunder and lightening going on outside and a part of me wanted the lightening to strike and take me away from all this. But no such luck. Some poor soul further on might get it. Some one who had everything to live for. Such is the workings of this cruel and unfeeling world. I can't imagine what just over  a year will be like for me my friend. Alans memory  is quite clearly a part of your current life. And I suspect my Anne will be to me. As you say Val. ' Think this is a long and lonely road. And I don't think any of us know how long it is. '  Keep safe Val.

Love and Light

Geoff.