Grieving. Its just suddenly got worse after two months + Has anyone else experienced this?

I left all my Xmas stuff in the loft for years it only started coming out 2 years ago and it's mainly to see what the cats make of it. I'm not religious but in a street with no streetlights my dark house stood out and I didn't want that so a token to fit in is how I consider it.

D

Hey Geoff,

I’m with you on this, my Dad passed away 3 months ago now. I’m cared for him before he passed, I’m also coming to the end of a PhD and have a 9 year old, so life was pretty full on and equally once he passed. 

At the time I got on, went back to my office organised the funeral, spoke at the service and did the food... 

Now, I feel like I’ve been hit by a bus of emotions and to be quite frank, if it wasn’t for having to raise a child, and now knowing what it is like to be left behind, I don’t know what i would do. 

I also, think of my Dad in places, every time I get in the car, for example as he had a taxi driver and took part in many motorsport events. I can only hope, that this does get easier, and that this delay I guess in grief is just a wave, a change in tied and the water will change again as it does, but when it changes, we will be expecting and knowing of this tide and it won’t be so bad 

Sorry that should have read *I cared for him & he was a taxi driver 

Hi Siani-11

It seems like you've had so much to deal with practically and intellectually  you've not had enough time to actually grieve. Perhaps that's why your emotions are now all over the place. It happened to me as well. There is a brilliant YouTube video entitled ' Living with Grief - Grief Attacks by a guy named Dr. Bill Webster. He lost his wife when she was a young woman and he was left to bring up alone their two young boys. So he speaks with experience. Have a look and come back to me and tell me what you think.

Love and Light

Geoff

Hi Siani-11

I should have typed. Living with Grief Series -  Grief Attacks. 

Loveland Light

Geoff

Thank you for writing back Geoff. 

I have watched the first video, and for today that’s enough (bad day). But, it’s reassuring to know that even the “experts” and truly experts after all, and as he says, how his life changed in 4 words. 

You are right I haven’t had time to grieve, now I’m starting a new job, I don’t feel in a place, to be that person that everyone expects “bright eyed and bubbly” but maybe something new will help, as I have started to hate my office recently. 

I’m so grateful that you replied, and reconvened these videos which I will watch. 

Best wishes 

Don't hate your office, stop for a moment and ask yourself who expects you to be bright and bubbly and what is it about the office that grates?

I suspect you are the one piling on the pressure to be something you are not. In interviews we all play a role employers know that, they hired someone that they thought was a good fit and could do the job.

If we were talking 1980''s then I'd say you had a point but now they can't complain if you're not good looking or aren't perpetually happy. Yes I worked back then when the boss could tell you to wear a shorter skirt or be fired.

Just put your head down and get your work done and if a manager ask's tell them the whole thing, that you took care of your dad through his illness. Some people read 'My dad died' as nothing out of the ordinary whereas if you say your mum died there is a closer bond assumed. 

Don't play the tough guy if somebody is properly interested, let them know it's a challenge.

D