It's been just over 2 months since losing my beautiful wife Anne of 50yrs. Following on from the initial denial, shock, and grief attacks I was surviving as well as I could expect. But now the grief attacks, along with hot and cold flushes, have returned with a vengance! And added to that, constant flash backs of which I've few up until now. These constant grief attacks are the worse. Sudden out of the blue tears and total heart broken despair. Some times Im on the verge of howling like a wolf but supress it because of the embarrassment it would cause. I managed to do a few thing today like cleaning only part of the car- I didn't have the motivation to finish it. I ordered some window blinds on line then went shopping. I managing the usual politeness expected at the tills whilst my zombie true self just looked on from the side line in between searching for where Anne might be hiding in the aisles, ready to pop out and surprise me. I resented the clear blur sky and sunshine above me creating yet another flash back of the last time this summer we went shopping together. This has now become a living hell and I don't understand why? Why it was I was able to take two steps forward but have now taken four steps back? Is this normal my friends ?
Love and Light.
Geoff.
