Taking off rings

I never thought of taking my rings off. John was my soulmate,  we had been married for nearly 38 years, and even though he's not with me anymore I still feel he's part of me. I had his wedding ring resized and wear it on the third finger of my right hand.  He never took it off and it comforts me to wear it. I may not have it on all the time as I have other rings that fit that finger (my mum's engagement ring for instance), and I do sometimes take my engagement ring off if I'm doing something that might damage it,  but I can't imagine wanting to take my wedding ring off, it's been on my finger since John put it there. Everyone's  different though and all have to do what's  right for us.

I think that this, like so many other things, is a very personal decision each of us on here must make on their own. Personally, I still feel married to Paul, even though he is no longer here with me, and I am wearing both my engagement and wedding ring and couldn't imagine taking them off. Sometimes it happens that people ask me, "And what does your husband do?" or something like that when they meet me because they see my rings and automatically assume that I am part of a married couple. I always say, "My husband died last year." So they know I am not in denial. I think what I am communicating is: I am and will always be Paul's wife and I am proud to show it to the world. I have always been and I think will always be proud to be Paul's wife and I love when people know it. Of course, as I said before, that is only my personal way of thinking and feeling. If it feels right for you to take them off, you should do it and feel okay about it.

I also will never take my wedding ring of. I have worn it for 43 years and would feel completely lost without it. 

Mike 

I also don't think I will ever take off my wedding, engagement and eternity rings. 

I have Robs wedding ring in its box at the side of the bed, I will eventually make it into 2 smaller rings for our 2 sons, it was a very substantial band! 

Rob passed away 31 March 2018 and I know I will never re marry. 

But it's entirely individual choice if you remove your wedding bands

Thanks all. Glad to hear that everyone thinks it’s OK and normal to keep the rings on for now.

Hi Academicallyblonde,

Seems like we are on a similar timescale. It will be eight  months for me on Friday.

I am wearing my wedding ring and have not given it a second thought about removing it. There are plenty of other changes that I am having to deal with.

Not saying that I won't or will at some point but for now it is staying on.

With lots of love,

Dutsie x

Hi all I got a chain today with a small hart on it that will hold some of my wife’s ashes and it has 2 rings around it one larger one that has inscribed on it always in my hart and a smaller ring inside that. I am getting the small ring taken out and putting my wife’s wedding ring in its place. And I will always wear it around my neck. 

Mike 

Hello Mike,

I think that is a really lovely thing to do and it will bring you a lot of comfort I too have a chain I'm wearing now with two wedding rings and a heart. Inside the heart is a lock of Paul's hair. This has given me great strength during difficult times since his death. It is very comforting to think I'm not alone and that he is with me. 

Sarah

Sarah that is also lovely it will be nice to know that they are still close to us. I have some of Winnie’s hair in a glass vase next to her teardrop urn with her ashes. We said a long time ago we will both be cramated and our ashes mixed together then spread around the garden.

 Mike 

I do not wear my ring in daytime my job won't let me as it is dangerous but any other time I will always wear it as far as I'm concerned I'm still married we didn't chose this path it was chosen for us