Hi everyone.
I haven’t posted for some time now. I have been having a lovely time with my family. At first, my mum came over to Ireland for a week. On the second evening, we scattered Paul’s ashes on a beach close to my home that holds A lots of special memories. I opened the urn and let the ashes flow into the water with each incoming waves. Afterwards we were sitting on the beach for a long time drinking gin and tonic from cans. It was lovely. Then, on the following day, we went to the west of Ireland and had three beautiful days there and I was able to show my mum all the places that are special to me because Paul and I used to go there once every year and it was also where he proposed to me. And, after two more days at my home, we travelled to Germany yesterday where I will be staying with my parents at their place for another week. On Sunday, we will go to a small city in the south of Germany which is very special to me because I went to boarding school there and Paul and I met there in 2009 and fell in love.
We are having a lot of fun and certainly the beautiful summer weather helps. And, yes, it is of course emotional to visit County Clare in the west of Ireland and no doubt will be emotional to visit the town where we met as well but it doesn’t make me really sad, more nostalgic I would say as I am remembering the lovely times we had.
But what I can definitely say, and here I come to the title for my post, is that the magic has gone out of things. I still love County Clare in the west of Ireland and I still love the German summer and it brings back a lot of light and happy memories of childhood. But The feeling that everything is magical and very special has somehow gone. It is a little bit as if you were once looking at a picture filled with vibrant colours, where as now when you look at the same picture you see the same colours that they are not as vibrant and strong. Does that make sense? I am sure it does, and I am sure that most of us here have the same experience. It’s like everything is a little flat.
Love and hugs
Mel
