Struggling

Hi there mark I have been feeling the same as you I can write it down on here but to talk to someone u just choke up it's very hard isn't it when the boss asks and I try to explain but can't so I just say I'm ok

Hi Newb 

I thought it would be easier talking to members of my family. It's frustrating that the word's can't come out, because I want to speak to my family and friends. 

It's for this reason I haven't chosen counselling yet. It is difficult at work, as everyone else is getting on with their lives. 

We'll have to carry on putting our thoughts on here, until a time comes when we're able to talk without choking up.

I'm fine with that. 

Hi Andrea 

Cry as much as want duck. Stick your thoughts on here, we're all in this together. 

I'm at work now and it has hit me like a sledgehammer I'm in tears had to hide in the toilet didn't even feel it come on just writing this to take my mind off things when will this torture ever end sorry just ranting 

Hi Newb 

Sorry you're having a bad day today. I know how you feel. I'm on Afters this week. I've not been getting up until 12.30pm, as there's nothing to get up for. I have a cup of tea and stare at the wall for an hour and then go work at at 1. 30pm. The reality is really sinking in and it all seems so pointless, existing not living. Hope tomorrow is not as bad for. 

The waves of grief crash over us and try and wash us away. We're always swimming again the tide. 

I start at 7.30  and finish 4.30 long day full of nothingness home to nothingness

Hi Newb 

Feel for you, as the nothingness just seems to get longer and the emptyness more empty. I'm off to to work now for 8 hour's of nothingness. Take care. 

So sorry you are having a bad day Newb,and don’t be sorry for ranting as you say,We all have our days when it’s really bad,I have plenty, everyone here can understand what your going through,even tho it’s different for everybody.,Hope tomorrow is a bit easier.

take care of yourself Val...

Hi Newb, 

I am so sorry, you are having a bad day. I know, how that feels as I am back to work too and get breakdowns too. Yesterday morning I rushed crying to the toilet to hide, bit my manager must have seen me, because she was there, before I could hide. Then she took me into a meeting room for an hour.

You seem to be doing long hours. Cannot you do phased return to work to do a few hours only? Your employer should give you this opportunity, if you wanted, if its too much on you. 

I haven't postes on this forum for a while, but reading the posts. I am feeling very depressed and getting flashbacks. I wish, there was something, that would help us all. 

Had three counselling sessions so far, but I am not feeling any better. I feel much worse after. Not sure, whether its doing any good to me. People tell me to carry on, so I do. 

I hope, you are feeling a bit better by know. 

Take care

Sending you love and hugs

Andrea xx

Hi Andrea it was my own fault I tried to text my wife by mistake then realized that was it I  was in tears been a bit better this afternoon hope you are ok