Struggling

You are not ranting,I hate it when people say it will get easier because I don’t think it will ever get easy .but we have to learn to live with it. How old was your wife when she passed on ,mine was a young 68. Try and eat properly and get some sleep. Mind you saying that I don’t get much of either 

My wife was 60 she had her birthday in hospital 3weeks before she passed and no don't sleep well 

Hi Mike. I have a son and a daughter but not close by. They were hugely supportive in the weeks leading up to John's death and the funeral,  but they've gone back to their busy lives now. I try to be upbeat wben I talk to them because they find my grief difficult to deal with and even said they don't  like coming here now beause their Dad isn't here anymore. I find that very difficult to deal with, it wasn't even the family home,  we've only been here 4 years.  They're grieving too but they don't understand how much worse it is for me - how can they? I hope they never have to go through this pain but I am disappointed  that they can't give me more support. Re having John's ashes in another room, it doesn't make any difference to me, I talk to him wherever I am in the house,  and especially in the greenhouse and the garden, he so loved the garden.

Anne x

I also talk to my wife all the time can't help it she was the one who made me have a psa test and yes I have prostate cancer it was  only after that she was diagnosed with multiple myeloma I don't know yet if radiotherapy has worked but if not palative care is all I want can be back with wife sooner

Mike, John had prostate cancer, stage 4 and incurable when it was diagnosed in November 2016. I hope you have better news. Don't give up. You know your wife would want you to go on without her, unbearable though it is at the moment. John told me I had to carry on without him,  for his sake and the children's.  He said we had been so lucky to have found each other and to have had so many good years together, so many happy memories. We go on without them,  because they wanted us to. People I know who lost partners say you never get over it, but learn to live with it, maybe perhaps in time even start to enjoy life again. Hard to believe that at the moment, such early days, but I live in hope and you must too.

Anne x

Thank you you're very kind 

Hi Anne I understand how hard it is to put on a brave face when talking to the children,they have their own grief but I don’t think they have any idea how much pain we are going through. I hope ounce it gets a bit easier for them they will visit you more often. Yes I talk to Winnie anywhere and everywhere. I was just doing some ironing and talking to her while doing that then I burst into tears and had to stop ,I went to bed for an hour and feel a bit better again now. That was newb who has prostate cancer and like you said don’t give up if only for your wife’s sake. I did have prostate cancer 4 years ago but had it removed and touch wood it haven’t returned.

looking out the window it is misty and gloomy exactly how I feel,it will be a week tomorrow morning at 6 o’clock that Winnie died and I am just dreading it. But like you said we were lucky to find each other and to have so many good years and memories .and yes we go on without them and live life it will be very very hard but that’s what John and Winnie would want. 

Hi Anne I understand how hard it is to put on a brave face when talking to the children,they have their own grief but I don’t think they have any idea how much pain we are going through. I hope ounce it gets a bit easier for them they will visit you more often. Yes I talk to Winnie anywhere and everywhere. I was just doing some ironing and talking to her while doing that then I burst into tears and had to stop ,I went to bed for an hour and feel a bit better again now. That was newb who has prostate cancer and like you said don’t give up if only for your wife’s sake. I did have prostate cancer 4 years ago but had it removed and touch wood it haven’t returned.

looking out the window it is misty and gloomy exactly how I feel,it will be a week tomorrow morning at 6 o’clock that Winnie died and I am just dreading it. But like you said we were lucky to find each other and to have so many good years and memories .and yes we go on without them and live life it will be very very hard but that’s what John and Winnie would want. 

Mike X

Hi newb I sincerely hope your radiotherapy has worked you must keep living and live the life of two people now. I know it will be hard cos all I want to do is curl up and die as well but our wife’s would want us to go on . One of the last things Winnie said to me in a very quiet voice was please be happy,and one day I hope that can happen for me you Anne and everybody else on this forum. 

Mike 

I hope it can it's been a bad few years my wife her mother both died of myloma my son died also my mother all in 4years so far so it can only get better I hope